New Year 2009

New Year 2009

Time pass so so fast...nasib not like running water. Wahahahaha...but seriously. Time really pass so fast. >.< haiz...There still many things to do this year but terpaksa tangguh for New Year. Hmmm...really dont know what to do at all. Blur Blur Future...teruk betul. Sometimes I feel regret for what I am now but only what I learn only can let me survive. I wanna learn new things...But it seem to be late already. Due to the economy now...I really dont dare to learn new things. To be cook really stressful & frustrated. But what to do...only this skills I learn & dint upgrade it so much. Now I just realize I have to move on. But 1st of all I need to change my attitude. I really bad at it. Haiz...susah la like this. Everytime also like this...so so hard to change sometimes. The bad attitude always come back at anytime.

Anyway...I wish everyone Happy New Year. ^^ Good Luck & Stay Healthy always. hehehe...=p I wish my family and my friends always happy. ^^ I also wish I could be happy but...there still many things to do. ^^ hehehe...

Peace...

Breakdance!!!

BREAKDANCE!!!

This is the 2nd reason why I want to be strong....HOHOHO becoz I wanna dance!!! Let me show you why I like to breakdance...1st reason...See these videosss~~~











Nice Videos isn't it? Hahaha...Well...They are my Idol especially Bboy Baek...His skills really make me jealous so much. @.@" I dont care how long I can be like him as long as I be able to dance like that someday. XD hehehe

Sometimes jealousy also give us strength not to give up quickly. XD hehehe

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! ^^

Hehehe...well...Im happy to see everyone happy on Christmas Day. But for me...Im not really happy at all. ^^ I duno why but...at least my friends all happy. Hahaha...I wish everyone happy and good luck everything what they doing. I go church today and I wish everyone be happy except me. I ask for God to take care all my friends especially my ex and her BF. Well...I wish they happy together. ^^ I ask for suffering more so that I can pay back my loses past 3 years. I've been enjoying so much this years and never think about my future. Well I did sometimes but it stress me more. What I cant forgive myself is when I was with my ex. I didn't listen to her and always keep secret from her. Its not that im lying about my relationship. Its that I lie for her own good...I dont wan to hurt her. Her parents doesn't seem to like me anyway so I think it is better I accept every decision she made. hahaha...Now im glad that she didn't choose BF someone like me again. She with someone who have stable career and really can take care of her. Not like me...I have no bright future yet. I was really such a fool for not listening to anyone especially Her. I've been so stubborn. Now Im very regret about it. I wish I could turn back time to correct all my mistakes but...even I could turn back time. It doesn't mean anything too. Why? because this is what life really mean. People won't become strong if there's no BIG WALL in front of them. Either climb the wall or destroy it. Im still hurt about it but...hehehe ^^ at least they all happy. They happy Im happy. That's enough...there still many roads in front of me. I choose one road which will suffer me more but I must pay all my debts and my stupidity for past 3 years. I must repay everything if not I couldn't forgive myself for it. ^^ Anyway...I wish everyone safety because every end of years. There's always danger going on. I really hate those low life people for disturbing our peace. I really do hate it. That's why this is one of the reason I want to be strong even though I have weak heart. Doesn't mean I have weak body and mind. XD heheheh puji diri sendiri dulu. Must lar...cannot stay low ony ma...XD hehehehe

Haiz...susah lar become small like this. Not tall enough...Tall and big people owez bully me. I really hate it. But im glad God give me speed that I been wanted but I will end up exhausted. hahaha...Laju tu laju but at the end...BOOM...K.O. Tired...wakakakakaka Last time I almost out of breath coz of testing my running. Very fast but...im almost collapse. @.@" hampir hampir black out. Damn...hehehe nvm lar...XD

Anyway...I wish everyone the best and happy owez. ^^ Good Luck in everything what u guys been doing now. Stay healthy and Strong. ^^

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!

So into jealousy but...=p

Haaah~~ hahaha...so into jealousy...=p Hehehe

Sometimes...I duno why and which part of me that makes me happy while watching other people life out there especially those who in a relationship. Its like...I duno...but kinda nice n calm to watch them smile to each other, holding hands, some put their heads on shoulder while holding hands n etc. Hahaha...so jealous but weird that it dint make me sad or disappointed about last time. =p...I think i should become photographer. Let me take photo for those who in a relationship. XD hehehe really damn it oh me...like stalker. I think really stalker. WAakakakkakaak but i dont think malaysian people like their photo taken while their holding hands or doing anything couple thingy. Why? Hiya....MALU la apa lagi. Nvm de lar...XD I put it in my mind ok edi...or make blog without photo. XD

I dedicated all this songs for them and anyone who read this post...^^















Hantam sja...duno suits or not...Nice songs I just put in ony...XD hehehe

Fun stuffz

Cosplay

What is cosplay? cosplay is cosplay... ... ...heheheh just kidding. Cosplay means you bring your character to real life and most important of all you act everything you cosplay. All the pose, actions and style. XD

Here some example :







Haiya...I give 3 Best example only lar.

Now...Here some SCARY game!!! 1st View Shooter...What kind of game? Lets see the Review...ngek ngek ngek!!!



Hohohohohoho YES!!! Its...Left4Dead!!! Left 4 people to die!!! All have already become zombie!!! This is the best shooting game yet...confusing and dizzy. Hahaha...XD

Another Goal

Another goal...

I want to be STRONG and never FEAR against bad people. IM TIRED OF WATCHING PEOPLE GET BULLY WHILE OTHERS JUST WATCH WITHOUT HELPING!!! I wanna help but scared. Now a days...I always scared of pain because of the pain I hold on my heart. I want able to kick straight to the head. One swing, One Blow, One Life. Thats want I want against bad people. IM TIRED OF BAD PEOPLE WONDER AROUND DISTURBING OUR PEACE BUT NO ONE TAKE ACTIONS. STUPID!!! WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING??? WE ALL MALAYSIAN!!! TAKE ACTION LAR!!! STAY TOGETHER FIGHT AGAINST THEM. INI 1 ORANG KACAU 10-30 ORANG NDAK BERANI TOLONG. BODOH!!!

Now...I train my body & my fists back. Well...I did it also because I wan to breakdance. =p hehehehe hiya body not enough fit how to breakdance ooo...Capoire lagi. I want my body to be able to backflip again like last time. Aaaahhhh that kind of feeling sooo sooo good. Now kumpul money buy punching bag. Must become STRONG for emergency. Must be able to protect myself. Selalu kena bully...selalu kena kacau. I always run. Lolz...of course lar I run. Since last time NO ONE...I said it again. NO EVEN ONE BAD GUYS EVER CATCH UP MY SPEED!!! HAHAHA!!! TULAH MAKAN DADAH LAR!!! Lari ndak laju. Cepat penat...kalo kejar mimang gerenti K.O sudah. Sana lagi sya ambil kesempatan pijak kepala ko. HAHAHA!!! AYAM MATI....GO DIE LAR ALL RUBBISH.

What I most disappointed is that own race also in drugs...buat kacau sini sana. HAMKACAN LARR!!! If I really dont care my life I oledi KILL u while u not even watching. Diao...Lucky for you I still can control my anger. That's why I want to become STRONG. STRONG to overcome my ANGER!!! If not...I oledi end up in jail. NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE ME BAD GUYS...Once you are my TARGET. Dont think you can escape. Isk...that's also why I MUST PLAY GAME!!! No GAME...I CANT CALM DOWN!!! ONLY GAME CAN CALM ME DOWN. So stop asking me to stop playing games. Games only can calm me down. Or...MONEY FOR SHOPPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD hehehhe many money sure I shop until I got everything I need. XD so many style in my mind I wanna try. Ngam me...ok...next time ndak ngam. Kasi orang jak for christmas presents...XD or collect them all and open 2nd hand shop to sell them all.

Okay...what else again. Hmmm...oh...i think thats all lar. I write this post because today I saw got people being bully at my work place. Im not sure they pilak or malay or wat. All I know they steal that kid Hp & money. I wanna help but...I oledi inside my car. Takkan stop engine in the middle of jam & go out help. Sure kena Hon gao gao...haiz...so sad and disappointed. Okay lar...until here lar.

IM SUFFERING AGAIN!!!

Help Needed...

Why?

Well...I really still cant forget about my past relationship. People are right about it. Its easy to forgive but hard to forget. Even though I didnt meet here face to face but when I saw her my heart beat very very very fast & my whole body shakes so much. And fear taking over me again. Damn...I really wish I could forget & forgive. I been listening all my friends advices but its just...SO HARD!!! Aaarrrgghhh I AM SO NEED HELP!!! God Damn It...Why like this? I never had this kind of feeling before...I wish I could do something about it but...This damn "FEAR" has taken over me again.

I really scared to face it. I always run away. I been trying hard to face it but still cant. I dont know why...All my friends help me but I wasted it all. Haizz...why is it like this? How can I forget about it....ITS BEEN ONE WHOLE YEAR!!! AAARRRGGHHH SO FRUSTRATED~~~

So many beautiful & sexy girls out there...but still I cant forget about her. Haiz...everytime I think positively...Im still hoping I could get a girl like her. Average girl with brilliant mind. Help me a lot...but I didnt do anything in return. Such a lousy am I...no wonder I get rejected so easily. Even though I realize about it...I still cant change it. Well...at least I wish Her & Her BF always happy together & have a GREAT life. ^^ I dun mind suffering because of this. I must punish myself in return of those bad past times. I wasted a lot in those 2 years when im with her. I should have start working for the sake of her happiness but I wasted all the chances. Now I realize she has given me a lot a lot a lot chances but I wasted it all & make her sad and disappointed about me. So so too late...Its so too late.

Searching for replacement...well...I dont think I have the guts to do so after these days I been rejected a lot. hahaha...everytime I face girls...my heart beat so fast & i would definitely sweating. I try to overcome it but always failed. Make me always to come up any excuses to get away & be alone. haiz...stupid. =.=" Really stupid...

I wish someone advices...ehem preferable girls lar. Damn it...of course I must get advices from girls ma because they are girls. They know something...I LACK OF FEMALE FRIENDS OOOHH~~~ So really to understand girls before I started to flirt again. If not...will always end up rejected or break up at the end...Haiz...who wan that happen anyway. Wound on outside are more faster to heal than wound inside. Aaahhh~~ SO SO SO PAIN~~~

p/s : My Heart now is...really really really PAINFUL & SUFFERING!!! God...Help...Me....

My Feelings

Finally...

Finally reach the very end week which I will resign. Damn...Im totally no life. Work and go home sleep. No time to have fun with all my friends. Masa terbalik...sigh~ selagi masih muda better enjoy my youth...I had wasted it last time. >.< so stupid am I...now i work as assistant chef with RM800++ salary. Well...OOooookay lar...but Im totally tired. I want off day also hard. Want have some fun also hard. I really feel like Im being used but that's ok. I RESIGN THIS END OF MONTH!!! Muhuhuhuhahahaha then I must rest at least 1 or 2 weeks to regain my health and make my body biasa bangun pagi. If not...ROSAK LOH MY BODY. Work as night shift suddenly work as morning shift without rest. Daripada sengsara...Better I take bit risk to rest and enjoy dulu.

Haiz...totally sad. This week suppose I resign but can't...what the fuck is "responsibility" if you don't care about my problems. Damn it...of course I must responsible but if people cannot tahan oledi. HOW TO RESPONSIBLE??? IM TIRED!!! I WORK SO HARD BUT I STILL GET NOTHING!!! I TRAIN NEW PEOPLE...kalo dia salah pukul dia lar...BUAT APA PUKUL SAYA??? WANT MAKE WAR KA??? This is FINAL!!! NO MORE HELP...NO MORE RESPECT. DONT CARE YOU NEED HELP OR NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE COZ OF BUSY. YOU ARE THE PRO...SETTLE IT YOURSELF!!! IM TIRED!!! IM SICK OF BEING USED!!! I WORK SO HARD & DINT DO WRONG. JUST BECOZ THE OTHERS MAKE MISTAKES DOESNT MEAN MUST HIT ME!!! YOU PERFECT KA!!! If you say you can do it...THATS MEAN ONLY YOU!!! DOESNT MEAN WE ALL CAN DO IT!!! YOU ARE THE SO CALL PROFESSIONAL!!! WE STILL NOOB!!! DONT TREAT US LIKE WE CAN BECOME PROFESSIONAL ANYTIME. WE NEED MORE TIME!!! ESPECIALLY ME!!! I NEED MORE TIME!!! I NO NEED REST KA??? BUSY PUN MUST ME ADA...EMERGENCY PUN WANT ME CHANGE TIME!!! YOU IDIOT OR WAT!!! PEOPLE "EMERGENCY" THEN LET ME GO LAR!!! BODOH!!! NAMA SAJA PROFESSIONAL AND A LOT EXPERIENCES TAPI PERASAAN & RESPECT LAAAAAAAAAAAAANGSUNG TIADA!!! Like that you better DIE lar!!!

Okay...thats it. You all know lar who I was talking about. I want to rest 2 weeks actually then ngam ngam 2nd week of december I work. Now my chance ony left 1 week rest. Haiz dunno my body can tahan or not. So hard to go jogging...so hard to train. Now many bad people out there again. I WANT TO LEARN COMBAT!!! I MUST LEARN HOW TO DEFENSE MYSELF!!! WHO!!! WHO CAN HELP ME!!! T.T haiz~~~ Sometimes I feel sad to be kadazanese coz so hard to join WUSHU. Must be chinese...haiz...HOW ARE LIKE THAT!!! Come on lar...Let me JOIN!!! I WANT TO LEARN!!! I WANT TO HAVE MY SUPER FLEXIBLE BODY & LIGHT BODY which can jump high. =p hehehehehe...

Okay lar...Thx for reading my feeling again.

By the way...Anyone know any place that I can learn japanese language? XD hehehe

Princess Wen Tagged Me

I Got Tagged From Princess Wen...I think I suppose to say Aunty...eh eh...nono i mean Cute Aunty Wen...WAKAKAKAKAKA

1) Do You Think Im Hot?
- =.=" sweat...so perasan meh~~ later people throw smelly eggs more cham loh...

2) Upload your favourite picture of you.
- Hiya...I wish to have my favorite picture but...nvm lar...I update it as soon as possible...Of coz must nice nice de pic ma...XD hehehe

3) Why Do You Like That Picture?
- How do i know...coz i never had one yet...XD hehehehehehe

4) When Was The Last Time You Ate Pizza?
- Wah...2 years ago...XD hehehe iskk people taking care healthy bah~~ dun make me sick lehh~~ XD

5) The Last Song You Listen To?
- Bi-Rain NEW SONGS!!!!!!!!!!

6) What Are You Doing Right Now Besides This?
- Watching Dances & Breakdances in YouTube...and searching ehem ehem girlfriend in friendster, tagged, and facebook...XD hehehe if got lar...dun like dat bah...people oso pandai feel lonely ma...not easy find better den last time one...If girl sure easy lar...for man not easy de lohh~~ T.T hehehe..

7) What Name Would You Prefer Besides Yours?
- I like Rickz...XD hehehehe no lar...I love my name and I dun wan to change it...just put Alias...put "Rickz" i love this nick...XD sooner call me BBoyRickz...=p

People to tagged... ... ...erm...none ooo~~~

How leh~~ T.T

Anyway...ok lar...I admit I know play guitar but not geng loh...Know chords ony ma...hehehe my ears not like last time edi loh...listen 1 time can find the notes oledi...

Sacrifice For Better Life

Recently...

Im totally feel I have no life at all...Wake up from bed then go work...After work just go straight to bed...Totally no life no exercise no fun. What kind of life is that? NOTHING!!! NONE!!! I need BETTER life!!! I have to sacrifice my current job salary for better life. Its better to have fun and able to release stress with friends rather then just working like hell. Im still young and strong. I should look for fun and brighten my life right now. Work sleep work sleep that can be use after have own family. Now still young and ehem ehem available...so better to go out have fun and exercise more. I been breathing oil and bad smokes everyday. And my health getting bad to worst. No way im wanted to die at young age with my loan that havent finish paid. Most suprising is that I suddenly have migrant. This is the 1st time I had it.

The meaning of this title is that Im going to resign my current job that have high salary for the sake of better healthy life. I have found morning shift job and work as bakery. Well...its the job that most suits me anyway because I always like to make dessert but too bad I learn a little bit only when I was practical in promenade hotel. Working in hotel...of cause when you become permanent worker there you have much much more salary but...no time, no life and no fun. Just before becoming one of the permanent staff...You have to suffer more than 2 years and the works all troublesome and tiresome. I learn a lot in my current job now. I learn how to handle and control quality of the foods. Most important of all I learn how to control budget. ^^ this is the most important part in any business. But I HAVE to resign this night shift job. I have to get morning shift job and do exercise at night time. I been in my current job and im totally exhausted and tired. I cant even have fun with my friends even 1 day. =.=" what kind of life is that anyway...I been taught by my chef but his style totally not suits me. Im not the person who would waste money on pub, clubbing or drink alcoholic. Im a person who would waste money on DANCE MACHINE for HEALTH...for FUN!!! But actually I most waste my money on expensive clothes...hahaha like must buy the clothes i like. XD I cant control this one yet...=p

Now to the main point...WHY? WHAT? HOW? WHEN? WHERE? XD well Sacrifice For Better Life...means I soon sacrifice my current job that have high salary and change to low bit bit salary for better life. For real Im not looking for money right now after I realize I still not enough experiences for high salary. So its better to learn and learn various type of skills so next time I able to do anything I want. I lack a lot of skills and wasted 2 years. Menganggur lar...stupid kan? haiz memang stupid lar...want tebus oso sakit kepala...>.< really kit si me. Better life means that I wanted to go out at night and enjoy my life...well actually I wanted to go dance at night time. hahaha...my team been waiting for me to teach them and train together. I also need to retrain and gain back everything I lost. I need another 2 years to be professional like last time. XD its a must...hahaha now I have my body and bit flexiblity...I need to learn balance. XD hahaha

When I resign? Well...this thing I have to discuss with my boss...I need to ask him to find new people for the kitchen. Just hoping that person able to catch up faster like me. hahaha...I can catch up faster anytime I wanted but due to my health...=.=" how to catch up??? sakit sakit dapat kerja bagus bagus meh~~~ lolz...Im so sad when my chef dont believe that im actually have weak heart and very very fast tired. That is why...only the person who sick know and understand their sickness. No one would...I realize about this when I keep on training for 2 months. I can no longer run like last time. But nothing to worry...I know my limit. hahaha...in my current job I keep push myself over my limit to finish all works. I have to...not because Im hardworking or wat...Its because I dont want to be tired by tomorrow.

Where would I work on morning shift? Well its at damai bakery...the shift starts from 8am till 6pm...sometimes early but I dont mind that. Most important I learn how to make cakes and breads. muhuhuhuhahahahahahahahahah...Then I try to make those cakes and breads with lowest budget then SELL IT!!! Must try this kind of experiences if not...when will I able to do it. Sometimes have to force yourself to danger zone to feel the pain of falling down then when you get up...thats how you will think how to solve it. When you can solve it...thats how you make a better living. XD hehehehe...

Aahh...I think until here lar...I write so much oledi. This is what I feel now. But I need to be patient and help my boss...even though sometimes I hate my boss for not taking new staff for kitchen but have to understand whole situation 1st. My chef havent realize about it yet because his mind he just wanted to have new staff and work easy easy. Well...its work...No work place that work with high salary and low responsibility. What about me? I work so much and I dont even take off day when got emergency...? I wanted to go back kampung to show my respect to them...I wanted to go wedding to show respect...But I sacrifice everything just for work and my salary not as high as it suit. I never ask more...I just follow orders and do as it should. But what I get in return is totally different. So i have to sacrifice my high salary for better living. Im not going to destroy my respect from my families again. If not someday I marry no one come. Thats more sad...Later apa mo pun ndak dpt. Lagi susah...Better susah now than susah in the future. =.=" hahaha ok lar enough lar. You see I cant stop writing about my experiences in my current job.

Cancelation on Joining RedBull Event

Aaahh~~

Im so so so sad ar~~~

Cant join the Redbull Event not only because of work...it is also because the competition need 3man battle...no solo~~ hiyakk...haiz nvm lar...now keep on practicing. Dont wan to lose another chance again. Soooo many chances but all oso misss~~~

So to all my friends who really wan to see me dance...sorry loh~~~ I cant do it...but wait my REAL team geng...then we give a show that all sabahan never forget and bored...muhuhuhahahahahahahhaha SABAH BOLEH BAH!!! XD...

Dancing World

Stepping Into Dancing World Once More...^^

Aaaahh~~ This feeling that long lost has finally return. My...ehem ehem...fit fit body...XD no lar...not so fit oso just light...wakakakkaa but its so nice to be back again. Dancing for inspiration...for fun...for health...for future. I heard some people or maybe most people says that dancing wont be able to make money at all. Well...my comment is everything is just the same. Making business you need modal or something. Working you need to be more hardworking to gain more money. So why not dancing? Dancing is fun and healthy...its doesnt mean it is impossible to do it. So...TIME is just answer. Nothing is impossible in this world anymore. There's always an idea can fulfill it. ^^ No Pain No Gain right? hehehe...

Today I got sore throat...one of the most hated sickness...whenever I sore throat my whole body sure weak especially when I keep coughing. It will make my heart pain so much. >.< but anyway...thanks to all my training and dancing. My body can handle it. ^^ If im the FAT guy last time sure...sick terus K.O. Now sick also can dance well...^^ Im glad im doing it. I wont listen anyone bad comments anymore. It just makes things worst. Better healthy then doing something stupid. muhuhuhahahahahha want challenge? lai lar...Run 100m with me. See who more faster and energetic. XD hehehehe just kidding...I sure lose if you an athlete. XD..

Anyway...Thanks to God that giving me strength for everything. ^^

Let's Dance!!!

Dance For Inspire!!!

Battle!!!




...erm...support me on 22nd November, Saturday. XD cheer for me lar...Im SOLO battle breakdance ar~~~ T.T no support sure will lost eh~~

Step Into Dances World Again

Aaaahh~~

Its feel totally come back to life...^^

Step into dances world again really tiring. You all know lar~~ tulang tua sudah...but...hohoho with no lack of training...ANYTHING POSSIBLE!!! ^^ But weird...some older people says "Dont dance lar...waste your time and energy." =.=" Hmmm why leh? It exercising and fun ma~~ wrong meh~~ hahaha...but for my dance type sure probably waste lar but...its all I know to do...hahaha

What type of dances I do ar? Breakdance loh...its the only way to have...ehem ehem...maybe 6 packs...XD hehehehe but its healthy also. Be EXTRA careful only ma...hehehe

Coming this 22nd November at One Borneo...there would be a BBOY Competition sponsor by Red Bull Company. I cant waited that very very very GREAT day but kinda nervous to go up on stage. Hahaha...I go for SOLO BBoy Battle because my team lack of time training. We did train now but it still not enough for them. Not enough preparations at all. So I go for SOLO and intro my NEWLY team name.

What team name? Hehehe SOON you all know...^^ We all not pro but we can teach you all the tips and share ideas to make you all better. But we judge HONESTLY. No simpan2 perasaan. Without bad comments we will never grow. So...sakit hati pun sakit hati la ok? if not...when u ever become pro. Me kena comment so badly oso can improve well many times...XD

Thats all lar...oh ya by the way...

To Darryl : Thanks for your new blog title about "Butterflies". It really meaningful...For such short sentences already have so so so much meanings inside. hehehe THANKS A LOT...^^ haiz...you ar...I got so so so many things to say to you de lar but hope you can accept it lar...it also got related with the past. But its ok ma kan if I tell you everything. Because you treat me like this...so so good. Wah i think I better tell you everything also.

Happy Birthday

26th September


To My Beloved SiS,

HAPPY BELOVED BIRTHDAY!!! ^^ Hehehe

I know you always can read this...^^ Its been long time...even I forgot about it due to my worst situation but Im glad our GREAT MOM remember it. Hehehe...Isnt she's the BEST MOM? ^^ It so sad that Im dont even have a chance to hold you or you hold me. XD hehehe but I know you always protect us from any worst danger...^^ I can feel it sometimes. Hahaha but Im sure you are happy at you place now right? ^^ Hehehe...anyway HAPPY BELOVED BIRTHDAY!!! Hehehe...May God Bless You Always...


In Loving Memory of Sis
Born 26th September 1978

- Rick JokEr -

My Feeling

This is another topic about my feeling again...I write everything here so that I can feel much relief about everything I been through and hoping it can be solve as soon as possible.

Actually...Its really hard to explain how I feel now...so hard to release it. Its all about me...I really feel sorry about my parents. They work so hard to earn money to clear all debts but me...haiz...go out enjoy enjoy enjoy. Damn...but I do lucky that I realize this before its going further. I even help my new friends to release their stress even though it suffer me more. But this is final...I cant help anymore. I already make my own family suffer so much. I should stop helping anyone anymore. But...haiz I feel really really sorry about everything. Sometimes my new friends want some help I cant even say NO...WHY AR? Be good also suffer...Be bad also suffer...haiz...really confusing. Why everything has to be like this? Why cant everything be fine for even 1 day or 2 days? T.T haiz~ cham ar~ suffer suffer lar...what so ever everything also same. Help or not help also suffer...Be good or be bad also suffer. haiz~~

This is about my head chef...I wanted to tell him everything and I know he will understand but I dont want him to think that Im this and that...bad lar this lar...haiz...so hard if talking someone more older than me sometimes. Different people really different thinking. His friend which also my friend tell me that he dont have a good family since he was born. But he's lucky that he got GREAT family angkat...adoption lar. is that the right spelling? XD hehehe so...haiz I also very very pity him lar. Since small oledi more suffer than me. That is why...he's lucky to have new family that adopt him. At least his life ok oledi. But for my situation is totally different. I enjoy but my family suffer. When I realize it...I CANT even think of something how to help. Want to open business also not so easy...Want to help family business also not yet complete. Haiz...I wanted to work day and night oledi. Gain more pain to have more money. I dont care if Im die...as long as I dont make more debts and sendiri enjoy. I really have less time with family now coz of working at night. I finish work they all sleep. Offday I must go out release my stress on the beach and go yam cha with friends laugh laugh. Really no time at all...I wish to take unpaid leave for 1 week to have family dinner but...the shop I work at totally depends on me...without me all the workers...BOOM...penat and confused gao gao. Even how busy the shop is I still can take care everything as long as no one distract my attention. And the shop really have less workers...haiz~ if got more worker...later jatuh bankrapt ndak cukup pay this pay that. AAAaaarrrgghhh I really wish Im good at office thingy ar~~~ haiz...but...office work...totally not suit me...>.< haiz~~

This is for my Mom...Im really sorry that I use your car not only to go work but also go enjoy and everything. I use your car to go work is ok lar but go enjoy really make me feel very sorry. But I really do take GOOD care your car. I wont do anything that damage the car unless got people go kacau lar...haiz~ T.T IM SORRY!!! REALLY REALLY SORRY!!! You work Overtime to gain more extra money but I use your car go enjoy. Totally UNFAIR...I wish I could be strict everything but most of the time I cant even say NO when friends need help even though it suffer me more...only my best friends and close friends understand me very well...

This is about some part of myself lar...I do really wanted to talk this with someone really could listen to me...even though he/she dont understand what im saying but at least try hard to understand me. I know and understand that out there...there are more people more suffer than me but the way I wanted to release my stress and everything is different. To be honest I dont have balance hormon...so if you find me act like girly bit and childish bit...please lar...be understanding...dont think like Idiot people...dont be brainless. No one perfect...if you think you are perfect...ok...I will challenge you. I dun mind losing but at least I will MAKE you understand. haiz...its like that lar...I cant write anymore coz today I really moody. I cant think good good anymore. I need to think how to solve everything...

Thanks For Reading This...^^
- Rick JokEr-

Recently...

This is about what happen to me recently...

Its all about my workplace, my family and myself...

Damn...I thought this year could be my lucky year but it looks like it is just the beginning of my bad luck.

1st...about my workplace. Hmmm okay okay lar...but I can feel that its hard for us all to get salary increase due to the business. The company having hard time to cover everything...it needs almost like RM2000++ per day to cover everything include bills and workers salary. Since the morning people no longer come work after being scold because dint help clean grease trap and always go after working times up without finishing their work 1st. haiz...morning business no more oledi...boss really rugi a lot...I wonder can cover everything or not...rental oledi nid to pay RM5000++. Then my head chef salary, me, and other 2 people oledi reach RM3000++ like that. But nevermind lar...I give 1 or 2 years chance. If salary still the same...like that I better help my father take care family business. =.="

2nd...about family. hmmm...no update. Because they work morning I work at night...how to spend time together...=.=" haiz...

3rd...about myself. ... ... ...haiz...dont want say anything about it lar. So much bad luck happens...car kena scretch lar. I lost RM50 again...haiz...Why ar...so easy kena bully de me...nevermind...Just be patient...someday...ONE DAY! I will have my own business...

4th...jealousy...XD hehehe why? yalar...go out gai gai always see other couple so so romantic there. Sure jealous ma...wahahahaha XD more weird is I saw malay guy couple with chinese girl...0.o pretty lagi tu. I always wondering how he kao her...hehehe My funny brain side tells me to capture him and bodek his kao lui skills...wakakakakaka but i think different people have different way of kao lui lar...maybe its me being toooooooooo picky or scared to be in couple again. After so many times being rejected so much...I decided to stay single as long as I can. Biar lar jealous as long as I dint lose anything or hurt or something. hahaha...=p

Okay...5th...=.=" im hungry~~ XD wahhahaha i writing this blog while im still hungry....XD

Happy SRJK Shan Tao Reunion Day

13th September

Our SRJK Shan Tao reunion day...not much friends come but can lar...still happy happy there...chit chat doing what...this and that. Hahaha...I was hoping to see more leng luix but uhuhuhuhuhuuh sadly not much and we all sit at the back...sayang my hp still not camera type if not can take some pictures oledi. T.T~ after that meet our teachers that teach us all...laugh laugh...all suprised that we all change. Alar of coz lar...people change due to situation ma...hahaha really cant remember which is which oledi...wakakakaka but at least still respect them as our GREAT teacher. Without them who are we? XD hehehe...

We did take some pictures...XD hehehehehe then we meet our old old retired Head Master or Siao/Xiao Zhang...XD damn my pin yin not so good. XD even some of the teachers always scold bad words to us but they still our teacher. They scold us also got reasons de lar...but if they say they always right sure stupid teacher lai de loh...wakakakakak then after that...continue eat eat...laugh and smile...take pictures...XD hehehe but ok lar...even not much friends come because some oledi go back singapore, KL n etc etc to study and work. Have to understand also because they sacrifice for money. I want to go because I want to meet back all my friends, classmate and schoolmate. I really feel sorry about my work place because usually cannot take Saturday & Sunday as Offday coz BZ day ma...I really sorry but please lar give me one chance for this GREAT moment. Meet back my teacher and say Thank You for teaching me well...teach me chinese language, teach me how to read and everything...without them ar...WHO AM I? Pure kadazan loh...haiz...I like learn something new ma...sure want to learn loh. If not how to LIVE? XD hehehe...thanks to my parents also for sending me to chinese school...XD wehehehehehe

Okay...then...finish loh...10pm after that go yam cha at Horizon KK. Chit Chat with Best Friends and Close Friends...hiyaa all Best Friends de lar...all help me...share feelings and everything. XD hehehe...without them...how my mandarin going to improve? XD hehehe...I really want make 1 BIG party to say Thanks to all my Best Friends, Close Friends and New Friends. All teach me their language...give me the right meaning when I dont understand...something like that lar but I work in Ocean Cafe at night...T.T how to make BIG party leh~~ Nevermind lar...someday that "DAY" sure come one...muhuhuhahahahahah

Okay loh....thats all loh...want full story meh~~ die loh me write everything...XD hehhee

Our Kitchen Life...

Aaahh~~~ Our Kitchen Life~ Wanna Know? Hahahaha...I upload some photos to let you all know what my friend & I doing in the kitchen in our free time. Hehehe...We were bored & decided to do something...So why not try try make flowers using Pan Mee Dough...hahaha

Lai Lai give some commentsss...XD hehehe give us some ideas too...we might try to do it & take a pic on it....Sorry we dont have quality camera...but soon lar...sure have de...kumpul2 money 1st ma...XD hehehe

4th September...My Very Happy Birthday

4th September...

What I Do? Many things lar...

I go dye hair...it is suppose to be light brown dye with light blonde highlight but its turn out to be bright golden hair...T.T uhuhuhuhuhuh that saloon not so skillful eh~~~ sayang my money ony~~ T.T haiz so regret go there...Now even friends sometimes say me lan zhai...adui...punya sakit hati...all pasal tat saloon dint do properly...T.T uhuhuhuhuh haiz...nvm lar...apa boleh buat sudah...oledi pay~~

Ok then...go SHOPPING!!!! okok lar...just buy new t-shirt n jeans...ok ok lar..simple...

Then Go yam cha with OLD OLD OLD OLD primary frens...wah lao so hard to recognize liao eh~~~ plus my new hair style...scared they tot me gengster o wat...T.T haiz...susah hati...next time i left it black colour...=.=" or dye grey colour lar...biar nampak tua at least not gengster look...=.=" have to wait long hair...

Then habis cerita...tats all...XD wahahahhaha

Thanks to all my friends and Old schoolmate in SRJK Shan Tao...

Thanks for celebrating my birthday with such strong...bla bla i oso duno how to say...happy lar...really thanks coz this is my 1st time celebrate like this

Thanks for all the wishes...

So I wish all my friends, old friends, new friends, close friends, and best friends will be always in Good Luck n stay happy especially those who couple couple already...I wish them happy, always understand each other, dun argue for such little matter, dun easily misunderstanding, try and understand even it is big matter...try to understand the reason even sometimes it is "tidak masuk akal", n etc etc lar...many things but i cant type all lar...just can give bit bit lar...so be happy together...^^

I wish all my friends, close friends and best friends to have girlfriend for their soulmate...it is time to find even though it is very hard coz we getting old oledi...once we turn 25-27...we will hard to find girlfriend already...it is already very late liao...so i wish them to have girlfriend as soon as possible so that i can see their TRUE happy smile in their heart...I really wish for it...Im hoping SOOOO MUCH about it to happen...I cant stand to see and hear anything about girls are so bad, this n that...well actually we all the same. It just like maybe give up or sumthing lar...i also duno lar...Just try dont too picky so much lar...I really wish this WISH come true.

For my friends who in relationship...well...stay happy and please try not to break up lar...dun stop caring each other...dun stop trust each other...even got small matter try n discuss about it peacefully...share...we all getting old...we should share and think deeply...how come other ppl can marry...how come we not? we must think in positive way...every road have an end but which road is up to its difficulties...up to ur experiences and suffer to solve it...even though it is hard but there will be end about it. So my 2nd wish is for those who in relationship...I hope dont cheat each other...dont treat each other so badly...just understand each other even ppl think u two not ngam together...no such thing about "You two really perfect couple"...there's no such sentences...at last also break up...whats the use...thats why...TRUST and UNDERSTANDING is important in relationship...Try to understand both side feelings...dont sikit2 make it like BIG MATTER...please dont...i beg for it...dont ever think negative way...If you playboy/playgirl...there must be some reasons why he/she like tat...sure many reasons...we must LISTEN.

Okay lar...So i was hoping my 3 wishes all come true...^^ so that im also happy...lega hati lar...hehehe...


p/s : T.T im not samseng lar~~~ just the colour too bright golden highlight sure mcm samseng...wait my hair tebal liao n no more got colour baru I show my true dye colour favorite...hehehehe...very cool n ehem liang zai...WAKAKAKAKAKAK JOKING JOKING...maaaana ada me liang zai...liang zai in heart GOT lar...XD hehehehe not out look one...XD hehehehe

People Change Everytime...

Nah...This topic about what? About me lar...PEOPLE are changing ma. Everyone changing de lar...DUH!!! What is wrong to throw bit money on cosplay anyway? I know its expensive but...Sabah don't have cosplay event meh? Sure got de...just put some afford lar. RAJIN sikit minta tolong open event...like that oso hard meh~~~ Diao loh...How to grow up ooo??? Enjoy your youth while you can...Dont ever regret in your life. You got only one life...What is wrong to have some fun anyway???

Cosplay = Customes = Clothes = Money...HEALTHY & LAST LONGER...pandai jaga can last FOREVER...

You leh?
Alcohol = Drunk = Cigar = Money = 80% possibility of death...GOOD MEH THIS???

Dont F*cking say me wasted money on customes...What about you then? you wasted on alcohol and cigar that bad for your health...NOT WASTING MEH? You not only wasted your money...you also WASTED your LIFE. DOH!!! Stay out of my way lar...This is me...I use my OWN F*cking money to enjoy...and EVERYTHING IS HEALTHY and LAST LONG one. Better then drunk drunk drunk...lolz...YOU GO DIE EARLY BETTER LAR. Dont make other people suffer by your stupidity enjoyment. Cheh!!! Know say me only but sendiri killing sendiri by alcohol and cigar.

Enjoy your HEALTHY life lar...smoking n drink alcohol so much. For What? Last Last sakit jantung...who suffer? yourself lar...CONTROL lar!!! CONTROL you spending...Spend on something HEALTHY that wont shorten your life lar. You maybe strong while smoking but in future??? I LAUGH AT YOU!!! Yeah Im Weak But I Got STRONG BODY ar...CHOI AR!!! I can live longer oso with CLEAN body. Not with BLACK & WHITE paru paru one. Eeee~~ I rather let stray dogs eat it better then donate to those people who really needs it.

What I want is enjoy my youth time while I can...you ask me go drink alcohol? of coz I drink but 1 tin only. I HATE wasting money on something that spoil my body health. Say la me this n that...not like manly or what. Its better then having UNHEALTHY body anyway. My body is always weak even how hard I train...Only we know our own body health not others...not even doctors. Doctors cannot be trusted sometimes oso. If not my mom already cure loh...my mom still sick...eat this n that. see doctor this n that...still the same not cure. THEN WHAT THE FARK I NEED TO TRUST THEM SO MUCH!!! Isk...

That why people can change due to experiences...yalah not manly like if dun smoke lar, dun drink alcoholic lar, this n that...dont go club...LOLz~~~ you spend me lar...sure I go...im not wasting money for those unhealthy activities. You ask me go club dancing...sure i go but prepare mineral water for me (DEFINITELY NO ALCOHOL). Even IF im a millionaire...I also wont go those such place lar...better use your money and invest more. Make your whole family live with less worries n stress. Haiz...so rich but go enjoy something not healthy...GOOD MEH? If you die & left your money behind...not wasted meh? Become rich then die coz too much unhealthy activities...lolz...so wasted.

Like this lar...Just Leave Me Alone. Dont bring me to unhealthy activities...You go enjoy yourself. I want stay healthy...I dont want to die early and left behind all the debts i had. Normal yam cha ok but dont force me to drink alcoholic so much. My body already weak even how hard I train it but I wont give up. Mana tau got miracle...XD hehe

Anyway Thx For Reading this post...Just to express my feeling bah. Feel so angry when kena say not manly like lar...this n that lar...hiyooo sendiri still susah still want say me...you change yourself dulu...become rich with your own power without any support. You can become that then I follow you...If not? SORRY lar~~ I step on you got lar...lolz I follow your back & leech everything...after I have enough then I betray & backstab you...YOU LIKE IT??? sure not lar...Even Dog that being call Man Best Friend also know how to betray you if you treat them bad lar...apa lagi people? Not only your life will get in trouble...remember that as well. Nothing in this world have the word "SAFE" anymore...

Ok...bye bye.
Thx For Reading...^^

New Life

Aaaahhh~~~ Sooooo FREE~~~ Hahahaha...

Ahh Yes...New Life...erm erm...ehem ehem~~ hmmm what I want to share ar? Hmm
I tell a little bit about me lar...what I realize about myself lar...hahaha well now I'm a little bit like...can say sombong lar...but...duno lar...so hard to realize it. Actually really don't like being told the same thing everyday but no choice. My brain really got damage a lot because of one incident in my past. Well my family din't know about it...no one know actually what happen except me. Hehehe...if I told my parents...sure so much unrelated questions got ask. =_= quite annoying lar but they are like that so I understand loh...They sure worry about me but...hiya...Im a Runner and also Jumper...not the Jumper that can go anywhere ar...I mean "Lompat Jauh" de bah...Runner is like "Pelari 100m, 200m, 100m x 4, 200m x 4" de...but everytime got match I always din't show up...hahaha stupid right? If not can join olympic liao...ehem ehem so so perasan...hahaha (hit myself bit bit)...sot de...but with more training I believe sure can join olympic de lar...but I like learning different kind of arts...Cooking Arts, Drawing Arts, Hairstlye Arts and etc etc. Something like that lar..not so so into sports...I do sports just to maintain my health and body...For real I can no longer join any sports because I really have heart problem...so really sad can't help teammates in any sports. I'm a defender in soccer, running back in rugby, and 3 pointer / rebounder in basketball...LAST TIME LAR...but now...im a cook...lolz...wakakakka well I think Its too late already to learn something that I really really really wanted to learn...An Arts that realy suits me but its already too late after realizing it. Hehehe so apa boleh buat loh...just go with the flow...hehe and one reason about people call me sombong or being so so cool is because I din't socialize much like last time...well...erm...actually...IM SHY...hahaha...very shy bah...not biasa...>.< How leh? Just accept people call me sombong or cool cool loh...want explain also hard...SHY sure like this lohh...If meet new people my face sure look down so much and scare to chat face to face. hehehe...If u see me take out Handphone and click click there...it means IM TOTALLY NERVOUS. Take out handphone just to cover my shy face...but actually I doing nothing with the handphone. XD hehehe terpaksa pretend replying frens...then make sound...then reply...haihz...like dat loh...understand lar what Im trying to say. XD hehehe

Okay now about my work place...

Environment?...Nice and Good...Okay Okay Lar...even sometimes really stress up but Im still learning. hehehe...kena diao also have to accept it because I must learn.
People around?...Nice and Good...not so stress up place.
Salary?...I get RM800++ but I wonder if the cafe can survive that long or not. so much things to pay...Head Chef, Me and Another Assistant already need to pay Rm3k++, Then monthly rent of the shop RM4k++, Bils? wah...like just pay workers, maintainance and all that already RM10k++...Damn...1 Day sales must at least maintain to have RM800...cham loh...but nevermind...^^ I got many plans...hohohoho im so evil...XD
Parking? Ok lar...no one kacau...no need pay car park fee also...
Place? CKS millenium In rainfield court...well...new CKS de at the new highway to dongongon that one...
Cafe name? Ocean Cafe...^^ Well...my skills not so geng yet. I still get many complaints...hahaha because my skills already mix up so so much...got japanese style, western style, chinese style, home made style, malay style, kadazanese style, and others...so many lar...so much skills mix up my brain and hands also confused gao gao...hahaha but still so much lacking...
The Boss? He's Good...business minded...hahaha
Head Chef? He's very experienced chef...can become one of my SIFU already...hehe one thing bad is he as pervert as me but he much more worst lar...wakakakakak I still can control myself...XD hehe
Others? Okay lar...can say new friends also ma...new work place new friends loh...hehe

Okay now about my family...

... ... ...I don't know any updates yet. Hahaha...my father so secretive.
I'm suppose to send mum to work in early morning actually but...its seem I cant get up after working so hard in cafe. Feel sorry about it...to use her car so freely but din't help pay car oil. uhuhuuhh SORRY~~~
I want to change myself so have to use a lot money...sooner gonna donate some clothes again...very very very old clothes de...some koyak koyak again...

Okay...now about my enemies.

... ... ...=_= well...it seems we peace now. No one disturb me anymore...

About my FRIENDS!!!

T.T uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh no time yam cha~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wish I could work in the morning~~~ and get same amount of salary~~


Ok loh...nothing to share anymore...actually im bored so why not write blog? hehehe...wrong meh to write blog...=.= most boys say boy write blog is like a girl...lolz sot de...hahaha this is how Im trying to tell something...how my emotion...also kena say pondan or girl...=.=" weird...hahaha

Oh well...Thanks for reading this blog...^^
Thank you thank you...=p





HUH? what? what? Girlfriend? what you mean ooo~~~ special ka? Don't have lar...target got lar but no confidence to kao...XD hehehe...because still scared of rejection. You know lar...Hard to find chinese girls that can accept kadazan guy like me...I try so hard to learn all their language...understand every words...hehehe but I won't tell my real blood line lar...very complicated. ^^ so its better to keep it secret...maybe only I realize it...but who cares...=p hehehe...If Girlfriend (Female Friend)...hmm very less ooo...dunno why...Maybe I should try to be more socialize and don't shy so much when in front of girls...hehehe

Okay loh...stop lar...XD hehe

Weird~~

Today...My boss said to me...learn as fast and as much as I can from the Head Chef because this Head Chef attitude very different. Can go and run away anytime...Wah...nothing weird loh. Me also can leave anytime but see how my situations lar. XD hahaha If I feel not enough then I leave and change higher salary loh. But what really weird is that...the Head might scared if I use my REAL skills. =_=" the boss ask me to just listen to him so that he won't leave without train me some of his skills. Well...nobody perfect...of course I will learn everything. It is call KNOWLEDGE~~ XD hehehe...anyway...I did tell the boss don't worry because I will carefully learn everything. But weird too...since I work in kitchen...no boss or head chef treat me like this. They treat me very very very good. Isk...NOT BIASA LAR. XD hahahaha Last time always get scold...Always gaduh one...now...totally different situation. Its like I wanna leave it but feel sorry about it. But I'm sure leave de lar...Which GUY don't want salary RM3k~RM10k oooh~~ if that guy don't want such salary then give me lar. XD hehehe...WHAT? Where can I find RM3k~RM10k salary? hiyooo...Malaysia is not the only country you can work lar...Malaysia now already getting worst because of GREED of POWER. Lolz...GREED so much until country people all suffering. If can't go other country...start small business lar. THINK!!! My brain so slow also can think about own future lar. Last time I got control and step down gao gao...Now? hohoho... "Even A Loyal Dog Will BITE Their Owner" Ever Heard? It means BETRAYAL. You step on me so much someday you get what you deserve...Well something like that lar. I heard the chinese people said it but they thought I can't understand cantonese. XD hehehe...sometimes PRETENDING also good...

Ooookay lar...nothing to say already. ^^ Just wanna share since I got no one to tell with...ehem ehem...I mean Girlfriend to talk with...XD hehehehehe...SPECIAL Girlfriend oooo...Not normal one...ehem ehem...XD wakakakkaka

Just Kidding lar...hahahaha
Anywa Thanks For Reading...^^

I Feel... ... ... ...XD Hehehehehe

Aaaarrgghh!!! XD hehehehe I'm not sure why I do that but I feel like...I FINALLY FREE FROM MY OWN CHAIN!!! NICE!!! hahahahaha...Its been so long since I lost myself this past months. ^^ hehehe...even though I still feel part of me already lost and can never be found again but...I feel much MUCH MUCHHHH BETTER now. Hahaha...I just feel FREE as the bird fly in the sky!!! Wahhh so so nice feeling~~~ ^^ hahaha...

Most of my friends wondering why I suddenly become like this...Well let's just say I taken a "Road" that I lost last time. I have return to that "Road" again and I feel much more better with it. ^^ hehehe...What? What? You want to know what "Road" is it? Hehehehehe = =+ no way I'm going to tell you this. ^^ hehehe I will only tell when I achieve most of my GOALS...^^ hehehe...

Most important of all!!! I FEEL FREE!!!~~~~ Hahahahaha...Damn I want to go beach and scream gao gao...Aaaaaarrrgghhh~~~!!! XD hahahaha...Crazy huh? That's even good...this is ME. ^^ No more pretending...Enough with all the SUFFERING~~ Just be myself again...taking the lost "Road". Ho Ho Ho...

*TODAY*
Okay...today also face very challenging high hill. DAMN...1st time to fail go up the hills....T_T...it is super high hills that my mum's Avanza also having problem to go up properly. T_T my skills need to improve more~~~ Oh well...at least I get it at last. Hahaha After several times car balik2 go down...wahahahahaha damn I also laugh when I try to go up. XD Can't believe I can do it in short time...

Well That's all I wanna share...^^

YOSH!!! GAMBATTE!!! muhuhuhuhahahahhaa

Crazy Day

Hahaha...Today so so crazy~~~ Why? =.=" Because whole day in k.k area. Play games, window shopping, and gai gai like sot sot people. Something like you saw something you would say "HUIYOOO... ... ...Yenggg ooh..." lolz hahaha...damn stupid.

12pm reach k.k CP...

Gai gai and walk walk until 2pm and go basement floor eat lunch time at the... ...Rice Duck/Duck Rice shop. Wah...so so little rice~~ nevermind lar...good for diet also. Hahaha...after that window shopping... ...=.=" Sooooooo BORING larr C.P!!! Nothing new...all clothes OUTDATED. Haihzzz...

3.30pm go 5th floor Growball...

=_= this is where our crazy time begin...always tekken tekken tekken. Play until crazy...I wonder waste how much money already. Damn...can't control when it is so so fun. Hahaha

4pm...go yam cha at k.k Fook Yuen...

I wonder I spell it right or not...oh well people would understand also. HoHoHo...YaAaaaammm Cha...chinese tea ping...bla bla chit chat...talk nonsense. Hiya...that's how we spend out time loh...nothing to do. Better than getting into trouble. Hahaha...yam cha until 5pm...OKAY...GO HOME TIME.

At home...yalah tu...I cook for dinner. Tired but cook fast fast because wan go out ma...mana tau 9pm baru go out...damn next time I cook slowly. =.=" can rest rest listen to music.

ok...around 8pm+++ lar go out go C.P again...but 1st go Fook Yuen Yam Cha because some friends hungry and want to eat. After that...=.=" sure C.P 5th Floor...Another tiring journey...Tekken Tekken Tekken...but this time got add 1 more...that is Dance Machine called "Pump It Up Zero"...My stupid friend so so crazy to choose SUPER HARD...God damn it...if it wasn't because of that song I would still have enough energy to play more. >.< exercise ma~~~ fun and good for health. Burn more FATS...hehehehe try play play lar...don't be shy. It's FUN...really...TRUST ME!!! XD hehehe...don't peduli those farking FAN ZAI...they know nothing about FUN and EXERCISE really means. Let them laugh gao gao...Im pretty sure they run if you ask them to play the dance machine. Hahahaha...So...we play until 12.40am. Our only game is Tekken 6 then Pump It Up...only this 2 games my friend and I play continuously until 12.40am. Wahhh...now Im writing this blog also using back-up battery already. So Tired but not sleepy!! WHY AR~~~ >.<

Okay...End Of Story.

Fun & Exercise...Enjoy Youth While You Can. XD hehehe

- Rick _

I blew up my biggest chance

I won't tell when this happen but I felt so regret about it. Well...you all wanna know what happen? Here goes...

There was a girl...hmmm I think 16 years old. 0.o OMG so so young...well who cares about that. She's...cute, friendly, funny and caring but...now we never contact each other again. Why? Because I rejected her love. Well...to think about it back I felt kinda regret. Very regret...after keep reading the messages that she SMS me. I rejected her because...you know...I still can't accept love that moment. I tell myself that what will happen to us if I accepted her? I never knew. I just felt sorry about it to reject such nice girl. Well some of you might understand this or not and some of you might saying that I'm stupid. Hmmm...I think I'm stupid. =_= so cute and leng lui the girl with nice personality...WHO WON'T ACCEPT HER LOVE? Lolz...ME!!! How stupid I am...I did test her before and...well...she failed but finally she succeeded it. But still...=.= I rejected her. Damn...well I guess that kind of girl won't stay single for long. Hahaha...hiya so so leng lui and cute can stay single meh? lolz...sure got people kao her lar. Hahaha...as long as she happy that enough for me loh even though we no longer contact each other (she changed her phone number).

Well I think that's all about it. Its not long story actually if I write everything up. I don't even remember what I do that she so sudden to love me. Probably Love at first sight...well to tell the truth...I no longer trust Love anymore. Why? I am not sure at all. I'm very confused these days. Hahaha...stupid right? Its the biggest chance I ever had but I blew it. 0.o" and also I don't trust love at first sight anymore...Love is not just Love. Its a feeling that you need to understand and control it if not...even when you're in couple you won't last long. Probably like...Puppy Love. Even though you say you got experiences and understand it well...then why still end up break up? But whatever it is...I wish all the couples in this world to have fun and happy memories. ^^ hahaha...If want break up. Break up nicely...don't make people feel broken heart.

Okay bla bla bla...That's all.
Thanks for reading it.
Peace and please no Hard feeling. ^^

My Dreams...

I write this blog according to what I've dream of...=_= It is about something I read in my dream but I don't know what it is...I think I just have to write it down because I can't get my mind off it. Maybe I should share this thing...or maybe not.


NOT FORGOTTEN

Your words have made my heart dance,
and your smile have made me weak on my knees,
Day after day all thoughts of you were filled in my mind,
Before we were just friends, soon become acquaintances, even pals,
last but not least we're together.

Always shower me with ruby red roses that felt like touched and kissed with love. The way you hold my hand gently as we drove around in my car. The way you hug me tight and share your warmth. The way your eyes light me up in everyday life. Nevertheless, time goes by quickly that our relationship reached a rut, and there was no turning back. Our tender kisses could no longer sparkling, once saw in each other eyes just didn't shine brightly. The loneliness strangled me. I knew by the way you hold me. You have whispered 3 Magical Words into my ear on our time...I always have you.


Music and Laughter danced in the hot humid air.
Feeling quite embarrassed by the choice of my words.
Summer turned into fall...

I wanted you to take me out on dates and send me flowers,
I wanted to share that perfect kiss with you as you hug me gently in arms,
I felt warm tears roll down the sides of my cheeks as I thought about you of every cares that you have given me.
You as my best charm I thank you.
Lying down on my bed, while my mind kept thinking of you.
On the overwhelming to get me away from danger.
We conversed with true feeling within us.
Tender loving care all around.
I realize that if I didn't have you in me, my memories wouldn't be so sweet.
My memories of us were so wonderful.
All those days turned to months, months turned to years.
We were what everyone once called the perfect couple.
We were sweethearts.
That it is now...you will never be forgotten.


Hmmm...as I keep reading on what I just write. =_= I'm getting confused...its like 1 couple write each other a message. Like a boy write about his brokenheart to a girl that break up with him...and a girl write about how appreciate it is to have a BF that she was with. Oo0o0oKay...That's weird. As I read the lower parts it sounds like a girl is trying to say that she's appreciate everything that the boy given to her and telling the boy that he will never be forgotten. As I read upper parts it sounds like a boy feel betrayed and disappointed that he trying to convince the girl not to break up with him. Aarrghh I'm confused...Is this really dream? =_= darn it...3 days straight on same dreams but still I don't get what I just read. Oh well...hahaha

Thanks for reading it...
Peace...

Boring Journey

Aaahhh~~ So So Boring~~ Today go out...go to cp...hiyooo...why ar? so so boring eh~~ so regret go out...=_=" all I can do is window shopping...T.T and nothing that attract me...isk...no update clothes meh? pants ar? jeans ar? Don't have meh? hiyooo...I am so sad~~ want go one borneo also don't have car~ uhuhuhuh lazy use bus...rather go home. >.<~ really bored~ reach home also bored~ hiyoooo I wish got event or something~ can go see see something special~

Bored~
Bored~
Bored~
Bored~
Bored~
Bored~
Bored~

Booo0o0oooo000ooored~~

I'm Flying~~~ Without~~~ Wings~~~ Fiiiuuuuu drop and ouch~~

=.=" bored until sot jor...

Thursday

Ahh...Today quite something. Hahaha...why? well here's the story. Its about this puppy that being bully by wild dogs. So cham eh...big dogs bully small puppy. Of course you can't take it and sure you will save that CUTE puppy right? Hahaha...So I did save this small puppy but I don't know who's puppy is it...Well I just scared those wild dogs away. Sure I did hit all of the wild dogs. Must give some lessons mah...But after what...I can't believe the puppy stay in my house under my dad's car. I think hiding probably because those wild dogs not allowed to go in my house. I keep thinking who's puppy is this. Why no one searching for it? =.=" so ke lian eh...so terpaksa loh. I take care of it a while but my parents don't like it. That's even make me more sad. It just a puppy...imagine you're the puppy and someone save you. Sure you go to safe place ma right? lolz how stupid are my parents sometimes...But...what can I do? >.< It is BIG responsibility but what if the puppy got bully again...who gonna save it? Hiyoo...I wish the owner of the puppy would searching for it. I don't have enough energy to take care everything by myself. I'm so busy with something...I do want to take care for it but my parents...haihz you know lar~~ puppy sure piss here piss there ma but can train de ma...hiyooo...so that's how it happen loh. The puppy follow me back home...I just left it like that. Give some foods and drinks. That's all lur...I'm kinda miss my favorite dog anyway. =_= my super escape expert dog...Sometimes I really hate him escape and go out from house but so sad someone give him poison foods. T.T I hate whoever give my dog poison foods. Who won't miss his/her dog when you have so much fun together? You train it well...but he/she learn a lot.

Okay enough for that...I talk nonsense again. Well thanks for reading my blog. Whoever you are anyway...Hahaha Thanks...

Mata Ne...

Sunday - Good "EXPERIENCE"

Today I watch 2 movies...WOR...oook oook lar~~

3.30pm - 1st movie

I watch Journey To The Center Of The Middle Earth...Hmmm am I spelling it right? Correct me if im wrong. Okay...about this movie it is talk about... ... ...I have no idea at all. All I know its like...A world within a world. Isn't it? Not sure because I really don't understand what's the movie all about...hahaha Its like a lot of it been cut. @.@" damn...oh well i would give it 3.5 out of 5. Why? Because I don't understand the movie.

7.10pm - 2nd movie

I watch Hellboy II...Wuuu~~~ this one nice. But I'm not going to talk about it because the story quite complicated. Its all about reclaiming and conquering stuffs, and many more. Really complicated for me to explain. Haha...I would rate it 4 our of 5. Well...that's for me lar. I don't know about you all. Probably some of you might give 5 out of 5. Some might give 3 out of 5. It depends...^^ hehehe...

9.00pm - Yam Cha Time

Ya...I really need water. So regret didn't buy drinks...=_= I'm totally suffering of THIRST for 2 damn hours. Oh it is really sux...>.< Yam Cha Time...The most interesting topic we talk about it is all...about...ghost stories. Hehehe...It depends how you "EXPERIENCE" it but don't go TOO far or you gonna end up scared yourself. Hahaha...well...to tell the truth I like this topic because it make me scared and FORGET about my problems. Too bad...tomorrow I wake up I forget everything & no scared at all. Problems always conquer me this days but oh well...No Pain No Gain right? Hahaha...Just face it anyway. About my last relationship? Well...It hurts but...hahaha I happy for her. Hey...wait a minute. Why did I think about my past relationship again? Damn...Its a BIG oops. XD hehehe sorry about it. I just can't get over it. Still need time. Okay forget about my past relationship...Let's talk about...Wuu~~ Wuu~~ Wuu~~ XD hehehe know what I mean? NO YELLOW BRAIN PLEASE THANK YOU...XD hehehe I'm talking about...G _ _ _ T...XD well you know "what" is it right? anyway if you really scared about it we talk about it in the morning. If you want to experience FEAR? Then...come meet us. Let's SHARE~~~ XD I got a lot "EXPERIENCE" when I'm alone at home. When I was in relationship with my GF also got de at her house but...MUST KEEP QUIET later she can't sleep tu~~~ XD HAHAHA...It's TRUE. I can't sleep at all because I got "DISTURB". You know what I mean...^^

Okay lar...Enough lar. Lazy type about that topic. Want to know about it let's go yam cha at night and talk about it. hohoho just kidding...XD no hard feeling...XD

I Am Looking For...

Aaaahh~~ I am so so so bored~~ No work really bored eh~~ But next month work lar but...cant wait lar~~ I need MONEY to SHOPPING!!! XD hehehehe is it funny for a guy that like to go shopping? A lot of guys laugh at me...well...who cares. I don't give a damn about it. Laugh Laugh lar as long as I'm smarter than you all ma...hahaha

Wait a minute...=_= What am I talking about here? .. .. ..oh nothing much anyway. haha

Oooookay...so...what should I say leh? >.< I truly no idea at all. Nothing happen to me this lately. Hmmm...Well something did happen but it is already settle so no need to recall it. Hehe...anyway...I'm looking for stunt expert and capoiera expert. Anyone know someone that capable about it? If so...Feel free to comment here. Then I set a meeting and we get to know each other. There's no need to be shy and no need to be scared at all. I'm not man/woman-eater okay? XD...so anyway whoever it is just let me know here. Give comments all you want...hoho

Why I'm looking for stunt expert and capoeira expert?

Well...let see...I got nothing to do even though next month I will work. I love outdoor event. More activities more fun...I don't have much fun in my past. So before I go Singapore to work there. At least I must do something that give me nice memories here. Hahaha...What? Why I want to go Singapore to work? Well...It's time for a new life. I really do need stable income especially to help my family even though I HATE them so much but this is the only thing I can do. I'm always been a troublemaker so I have decide to go Singapore to work and earn a living there. Some of my friends says that don't go Singapore...Its hard to live there. Well I have to reject that...because "No Pain No Gain". There won't be any experiences if we go through all the bitterness in our life. That's how we getting mature. Well some do slow bit like me but at least I must have a stable income that suit my life even how hard to live other place. And most important of all...I do hate Malaysian Government...Its weird that we produce Petrol more than other country and the most expensive rate is us too. We all really live in suffer. So this is one of the reason I want to go Singapore. Okay I think that reasons would be enough. I'm not gonna change my mind even how hard you convince me. =p

Okay...I know some of you people might want to know the meaning of stunt expert and capoeira expert? Okay...Here's the video for Stunt Expert.



That's the video...and now for the Capoiera Expert.






Most of you might think this is crazy...Hey come on people. This is SPORTS but don't try to copy it if you scared to get injured. Use safety equipments if you want to learn it. If you don't have any safety equipments, then do it lightly. Most important of all you just enjoy and have fun. Don't think negatively. Don't think its impossible. I'll tell you if you can do back flip even once...You won't stop doing it. Hahaha...Well before you do it. Make sure your hands can support your head in case you make a slight wrong movement.

Well I think that's all I can write...If you blur reading it I don't really suprised about it. Haha...Cause Me also Blur Eh...hahaha Anyway Peace~~ ^^

Biggest Online Dance Battle

Biggest Online Dance Battle On Youtube In History Between Step Up Director and Miley & Mandy Show...XD Watch and who do you think gonna win? XD

ACDC TEAM













M&M Cru











That's all I can find about the their dance battle. Haha...The Final Battle is on June 10th 2008 but I cant find their dance battle video. Probably havent been post I guess...hahaha anyway lets enjoy their video.

Worst Saturday

Hmmm...This is a totally worst day. I was going out with my friends and we all going to watch Hancock. You know why I say it is worst day? Well...you know how our country. So much uninvited people such PTI. Lolz...I wonder when will our country manage to clear out all this problems. Since when already they say they gonna wipe all PTI but at the end...More PTI coming. Haha...When we all LOCALS are disturbed by these people. Where are all the policemen? Where are all the security? All gone? Scared? so sad...such COWARDS with a tag of policemen and security. You, policemen and security have weapon on your hands but what's the use if you TOO scared to use it against those PTI that disturb our peaceful living. But when we LOCALS do something bad even just a SMALL SMALL mistake. Oh...My...GOD! You all really fast reaction but when we LOCALS in trouble...WHERE ARE YOU!!! Damn...all those PTI lucky enough not to touch us if not there would be a MAJOR & HUGE fighting in growball. WE DANCE!!! WE DON'T DISTURB ANY LOCALS BUT WHY ARE THOSE F*CKING PTI COME & DISTURB US...YOU ALL SO CALL "SECURITY" RUN AWAY? SCARED? WHAT THAT WEAPON ON YOUR WAIST FOR? BAI LIANG AR? YOUR HEAD LAR BAI LIANG...if those PTI not scared about you "SECURITY". WHY SHOULD WE SCARED? TAI SAI AR!!! You show off your power in front of LOCALS but why SCARED to protect our LOCALS who in TROUBLE? God Damn It...Next time we DANCE and those PTI disturb us...DON'T BLAME US IF WE MAKE THE 1ST MOVE!!! If you jealous because you can't dance? Then JOIN US...We can teach you. Don't use your POWER as security to throw us out. We DIDN'T harm anyone at all.

Okay...Sorry about above. Haha...I can't control my temper actually. T.T...need to join anger management. XD HaHaHa...No way I want to join anger management. I still can control well enough with my temper. =P bluueekkk~~~ wakakakakaka...okokok The main reason why I say this day is worst day is because we got disturb by those PTI or pilaksss while we were dancing. They even PURPOSELY push us...well we did push them back. You know if you dance Hardstyle Shuffle...You can do anything even kick people. Well...you know...=_= Hardstyle use a lot energy and movements. Even your hands move as well. You can even push your enemy away though. Its Funny...HaHaHa...but seriously this is a totally warning to all PTI and pilaksss unless they dance well and not pushing us away. You can dance but don't push us hard. Try hardstyle in front of me when I dance on Pump It Up and try to push me away. You gonna regret it...Hardstyle doesn't mean you only dance hardstyle shuffle. You can modify it into COMBAT DANCE as well. Remember that PTI and pilaksss...Remember how the brazillian throw those french people away by using COPEIRA.

Erm...izzit french people or german who conquer brazil before and make fighting is strictly forbidden. Then brazil create COPEIRA means that a dance that can be use in COMBAT. They DANCE but their STRONG legs are hitting your body and face. HahaHa...I like this dance. If you are caught just say "They in my way while I'm dancing...they can avoid my movement easily but they STUPID enough to come closer" HaHaHa...

Okay loh...Finish loh...Im seriously hungry while writing this down. HaHaHa Well if any of you readers feel that I'm offend you...>.< I'm so so so so SORRY~~

How Did We End Up Here?

How Did We End Up Here?

I'm wondering why too...can't help it. Can't do anything about it...it's all my fault anyway. I had all the chances...but I blew it all away. Haihz...damn it. Sometimes I wish we not couple last time so that we can be friends until now. When you broke up with me...I've been so angry about it but...I can't do anything about it. I respect your decision. When you said "a girl need a guy with wealth"...I really sad and disappointed because I'm not that kind of guy. I'm poor...and you help me a lot. But still I can't do anything about it. Can't repay you for everything you done for me. I always wish you and pray for you to have better guy in your life. I do sad when you have other guy in your life but when I saw him...I'm sad and happy at the same time. He's the one for you. He got everything that you always wanted. He care for you...that's why you fall in love with him. I wish you be happier than last time. I wish you get what you always wanted...I'm happy for you that you didn't end up having lousy BF like me last time and in the future. I feel much relief when you got BF that have future in him. I know your parents don't like me at all. Don't like me to be with you. I been thinking about it all time but I just pretend I didn't know anything. I'm sure you too want to break up with me. It's been so long that you wanted to break up with me but...you didn't. I don't want you stay with me because you feel sympathy of me. You know my future now is totally blank. I wanted to run away but it always comes back. I wanted to forget about you but your face always picture in front of my sight even we never meet after you have new BF. I always wanted to see you smile but...when you start schooling in S.I.A. You changed...you never do what you always do on me. I been looked down so bad because of who I am. Because of being stupid...Because I have so much problems that you can no longer hold it anymore. I'm really sorry...I know you forgive me but how do I forgive myself? How do I forgive myself when I think back everything what I done to you...I can't forgive myself you know. I'm no longer can accept any girl in myself even though there are some girls that I wanted to chase but to think back all the past and all the mistakes I done. It's hard for me to move on...I wish this things never happen but it did and I can't control it. I can't overcome it...I'm too weak. So weak...my parents didn't support me anymore. You're lucky to have parents that still support you. Sometimes I wish I'm a girl...even being a girl is hard but at least they're always supported from parents. As a guy...we sacrifice so much for girls we love. We try our best until our last breath. We know you all appreciate us but...when we done something wrong even it just a small matter. It depends on the person whether He can handle it or not. Most of them can handle it but I can't. I'm too weak...most people says me has "No Life". I did angry about it but...when I keep thinking about it. They are right...damn right about it. Damn right about me. I can't help it...

I do wish there's a girl like you...not 100% same but at least some part of you would be same. Honest, Supportive, Playful, Active & Understanding...that's what I'm looking for. Well...it depends also. I'm looking for someone that really suited me anyway but I'm too picky about it. Haha...anyway...I pray for you so that you would be always in Good Luck & Happy in everything you do. I still feel sad & disappointed but...I'm happy that you not with someone like me. Someone who don't have stable income. Someone who can't even handle small problem. I wish I can change but I still can't. I need some support but I prefer that support would be from the girl I love. Well whoever she is...haha...well that's all. I write everything here just to release all my emotions. Everything how I actually feel right now...I don't wish you to read this too but if you really read it through...

Here...








I don't even know it is related to what I'm trying to do here or not...but I hope you enjoy the songs I gave you...If you come and read it. Hehe...Well...Ja Ne!!! =p

How Do I Feel?

How Do I Feel?

Hmm...let me see. How Do I Feel? man...I feel unhappy, sad, & angry. I don't know what to do...I'm totally no support from my own family. And worst of all is myself...I'm so HATE myself sometimes being so so so lazy. What worst of all...I easily get bullied and do nothing about it. All I do is run away. haihz...Why is my life always have to be like this? Being bullied? What the F*cking hell did I do to those bullies? I did hurt them or anything...I don't want to go back. I'm totally HATE my old self. Please stop bully me!!! Before I lose control of myself...Its better to STOP me!!! haihz...I been bullied so so long time. Can't anyone understand & work as a team? Even I don't know anything...WHY can't you TEACH me!!! WHY are you keep everything to yourself!!! WHY? EVERYONE HAVE TO LEARN MORE EVEN THOUGH HE/SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING!!! That's what STUDY suppose to mean...Its not only for going to school to study. School is where we learn what we should learn but DO YOU LEARN HOW TO RESPECT??? You may KNOW everything BUT you still HUMAN!!! You still NOT the person who control us. EVEN president need to LEARN!!! And YOU? WHO ARE YOU? Even boss need to RESPECT his/her workers. But YOU? WHO the F*cking HELL ARE YOU? You still WORKING!!! YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS!!! YOU EARN NOTHING!!! TRY to do business and DON'T RESPECT your customers like you did on me...YOU WILL NEVER EVER EARN ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE!!! YOU WILL ALWAYS BANKRUPT. Damn it...

Haihz...damn it. I HATE THIS!!! I hate this happen on me every time. I work hard and what I got? A Bully...DAMN IT!!! YOU THINK YOU BIG I SCARED!!! WHAT I SCARED IS MYSELF WHEN I LOSE CONTROL OF MY ANGER!!! You think I like to be my OLD self again? There will no turn back for me...It takes years SO STOP IT!!! I DON'T WANT any BLOODSHED IN MY LIFE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I rather DIE then being that way...haihz...PLEASE...I BEG YOU. Just STOP doing it. STOP making me SUFFER...I'm SUFFERING from controlling my anger. Please...PLEASE~~ T_T