Sickful Weather and My Feeling...

Oh God Damn...I hate this kind of weather where from hot day then suddenly become rainy. Hot then cold...who would get sick at this time anyway. I wonder why my body so weak since I keep eating vitamins. =.=" izzit lack of exercise? Lolz like I have time for that. Every morning I have to send my mom and bro to work. How am I going to spend time on jogging and exercise? 5pm/6pm? Lolz I fetch my mom n bro too. I just wish I have time to exercise like last time again but its seem so hard due to my situation and the God Damn changing weather. Aaahh~~ its totally hard. Oh well...just go with the flow then.

About my feeling right now...hahaha this might sound crazy, stupid and totally desperate but not wrong right? To find special girlfriend now. Its good to have someone that you really can talk to all the time. Sharing feelings, problems and etc. Last time its happen on me but it was year ago. I spoil it with my bad attitudes. I really regret what happen then...I wish I could always listen but it always turns out to be disappointment. Everytime I wanna talk about something that in my mind. I always have no one to listen to. Well...no girls wanna listen to it anyway so I just have to keep it in my heart. Im actually straight person...I just talk right away of my problems but...hahaha...nobody willing to listen. I do chat with a lot of girls but none of them want to listen of my problems. Well i think probably I really duno how to talk with girls. I no longer know how to start a good conversation. Hahahah...stupid right? and most important of all...None of the single girls I chat is really serious about relationship but I really like those open minded girls who already have boyfriend. I always wanted to listen how their boyfriend treat them. (Well...ctually Im looking for a tips/hints from them...XD hehehehe...shhhhh) And also I dont really talk about this with my family. It just...well...totally not the kind of topic that suits with my family. I dont really talk much about my problems either because I know what will their advices are. Always the same...=.=" so why should share anyway. It just turn out to be worst all the time.

Also, =.=" I pretty shy to meet girls now because Im really ugly. I scared once they meet me, they wont want to talk to me or meet me for the 2nd time. It always happen on me a lot so...I pretty lack of confidence now. That's why its been so hard for me to find special girlfriend. Hahahaha...Yeah I know Im desperate but its not totally wrong about it right? Come on...Im 24 this year and still single? Dont tell me you want me to become 40 years old virgin like in that movie? Hahaha...Im totally disagree but thats life right? Many problems will come after one another. To be honest Im pretty jealous to all the couples out there. Holding hands, laughing to each other, chit chat and etc but some I really hate because of their bad attitudes. Come on...wanna do something go privacy lar. Dont so open...this is malaysia. I hate see couples out there kena checking lar, this and that. Wanna do something just go privacy. Dont let those "official gengsters" capture you. =.=" nanti ada "unofficial gengsters" disturb more worst. Now economy crisis...I suggest dont luan luan go out especially couple. Every night I go out I only go one place call City Mall...Its the only safe place I can go because of the securities there. Only City Mall securities are very responsible. Thats why I feel safe there. I know its bad to go out every day but...Im totally STRESS. Takkan simpan dalam hati...I dont want more SUFFERING but I do feel guilty everytime. I wanna go beach but my instinct always tell me dont even I have many friends to go with. Want find job also I need my instinct because I hate being backstab. Hardworking also want backstab...How to survive anyway? I dont really want to be BAD again. I dont want my wild attitudes come back. I dont want make troubles anymore. So please lar dont force me...I dint disturb you also.

Now most important is I must try to change my attitudes and calm my mind. I always stay in STRESS mode sampai my hair keep dropping. HAIR!!! DROPPPING!!! More worst...become more ugly. =.=" I try many product but none of them working. I keep wondering why...izzit my dietary? daily foods or what? Never get the answer. Last time my hair very tebal one even got drop also...now...macam sudah jadi orang tua. Less hair and more pimples...=.=" girls see also laugh because got botak botak...haiz...sakit hati. More lack of confidence because of this.

That's all I wanna share for now...It is what in my mind actually. Only my blog is my very close friend. He read everything what I wanted to write. XD hehehehe sot sot kan me? Even there is no advices at all...I still calm me down a while. At least I can still honestly smile because of this. =p hehehehe...well Thanks for reading this post. ^^