Happy Birthday

26th September


To My Beloved SiS,

HAPPY BELOVED BIRTHDAY!!! ^^ Hehehe

I know you always can read this...^^ Its been long time...even I forgot about it due to my worst situation but Im glad our GREAT MOM remember it. Hehehe...Isnt she's the BEST MOM? ^^ It so sad that Im dont even have a chance to hold you or you hold me. XD hehehe but I know you always protect us from any worst danger...^^ I can feel it sometimes. Hahaha but Im sure you are happy at you place now right? ^^ Hehehe...anyway HAPPY BELOVED BIRTHDAY!!! Hehehe...May God Bless You Always...


In Loving Memory of Sis
Born 26th September 1978

- Rick JokEr -

My Feeling

This is another topic about my feeling again...I write everything here so that I can feel much relief about everything I been through and hoping it can be solve as soon as possible.

Actually...Its really hard to explain how I feel now...so hard to release it. Its all about me...I really feel sorry about my parents. They work so hard to earn money to clear all debts but me...haiz...go out enjoy enjoy enjoy. Damn...but I do lucky that I realize this before its going further. I even help my new friends to release their stress even though it suffer me more. But this is final...I cant help anymore. I already make my own family suffer so much. I should stop helping anyone anymore. But...haiz I feel really really sorry about everything. Sometimes my new friends want some help I cant even say NO...WHY AR? Be good also suffer...Be bad also suffer...haiz...really confusing. Why everything has to be like this? Why cant everything be fine for even 1 day or 2 days? T.T haiz~ cham ar~ suffer suffer lar...what so ever everything also same. Help or not help also suffer...Be good or be bad also suffer. haiz~~

This is about my head chef...I wanted to tell him everything and I know he will understand but I dont want him to think that Im this and that...bad lar this lar...haiz...so hard if talking someone more older than me sometimes. Different people really different thinking. His friend which also my friend tell me that he dont have a good family since he was born. But he's lucky that he got GREAT family angkat...adoption lar. is that the right spelling? XD hehehe so...haiz I also very very pity him lar. Since small oledi more suffer than me. That is why...he's lucky to have new family that adopt him. At least his life ok oledi. But for my situation is totally different. I enjoy but my family suffer. When I realize it...I CANT even think of something how to help. Want to open business also not so easy...Want to help family business also not yet complete. Haiz...I wanted to work day and night oledi. Gain more pain to have more money. I dont care if Im die...as long as I dont make more debts and sendiri enjoy. I really have less time with family now coz of working at night. I finish work they all sleep. Offday I must go out release my stress on the beach and go yam cha with friends laugh laugh. Really no time at all...I wish to take unpaid leave for 1 week to have family dinner but...the shop I work at totally depends on me...without me all the workers...BOOM...penat and confused gao gao. Even how busy the shop is I still can take care everything as long as no one distract my attention. And the shop really have less workers...haiz~ if got more worker...later jatuh bankrapt ndak cukup pay this pay that. AAAaaarrrgghhh I really wish Im good at office thingy ar~~~ haiz...but...office work...totally not suit me...>.< haiz~~

This is for my Mom...Im really sorry that I use your car not only to go work but also go enjoy and everything. I use your car to go work is ok lar but go enjoy really make me feel very sorry. But I really do take GOOD care your car. I wont do anything that damage the car unless got people go kacau lar...haiz~ T.T IM SORRY!!! REALLY REALLY SORRY!!! You work Overtime to gain more extra money but I use your car go enjoy. Totally UNFAIR...I wish I could be strict everything but most of the time I cant even say NO when friends need help even though it suffer me more...only my best friends and close friends understand me very well...

This is about some part of myself lar...I do really wanted to talk this with someone really could listen to me...even though he/she dont understand what im saying but at least try hard to understand me. I know and understand that out there...there are more people more suffer than me but the way I wanted to release my stress and everything is different. To be honest I dont have balance hormon...so if you find me act like girly bit and childish bit...please lar...be understanding...dont think like Idiot people...dont be brainless. No one perfect...if you think you are perfect...ok...I will challenge you. I dun mind losing but at least I will MAKE you understand. haiz...its like that lar...I cant write anymore coz today I really moody. I cant think good good anymore. I need to think how to solve everything...

Thanks For Reading This...^^
- Rick JokEr-

Recently...

This is about what happen to me recently...

Its all about my workplace, my family and myself...

Damn...I thought this year could be my lucky year but it looks like it is just the beginning of my bad luck.

1st...about my workplace. Hmmm okay okay lar...but I can feel that its hard for us all to get salary increase due to the business. The company having hard time to cover everything...it needs almost like RM2000++ per day to cover everything include bills and workers salary. Since the morning people no longer come work after being scold because dint help clean grease trap and always go after working times up without finishing their work 1st. haiz...morning business no more oledi...boss really rugi a lot...I wonder can cover everything or not...rental oledi nid to pay RM5000++. Then my head chef salary, me, and other 2 people oledi reach RM3000++ like that. But nevermind lar...I give 1 or 2 years chance. If salary still the same...like that I better help my father take care family business. =.="

2nd...about family. hmmm...no update. Because they work morning I work at night...how to spend time together...=.=" haiz...

3rd...about myself. ... ... ...haiz...dont want say anything about it lar. So much bad luck happens...car kena scretch lar. I lost RM50 again...haiz...Why ar...so easy kena bully de me...nevermind...Just be patient...someday...ONE DAY! I will have my own business...

4th...jealousy...XD hehehe why? yalar...go out gai gai always see other couple so so romantic there. Sure jealous ma...wahahahaha XD more weird is I saw malay guy couple with chinese girl...0.o pretty lagi tu. I always wondering how he kao her...hehehe My funny brain side tells me to capture him and bodek his kao lui skills...wakakakakaka but i think different people have different way of kao lui lar...maybe its me being toooooooooo picky or scared to be in couple again. After so many times being rejected so much...I decided to stay single as long as I can. Biar lar jealous as long as I dint lose anything or hurt or something. hahaha...=p

Okay...5th...=.=" im hungry~~ XD wahhahaha i writing this blog while im still hungry....XD