IM SUFFERING AGAIN!!!

Help Needed...

Why?

Well...I really still cant forget about my past relationship. People are right about it. Its easy to forgive but hard to forget. Even though I didnt meet here face to face but when I saw her my heart beat very very very fast & my whole body shakes so much. And fear taking over me again. Damn...I really wish I could forget & forgive. I been listening all my friends advices but its just...SO HARD!!! Aaarrrgghhh I AM SO NEED HELP!!! God Damn It...Why like this? I never had this kind of feeling before...I wish I could do something about it but...This damn "FEAR" has taken over me again.

I really scared to face it. I always run away. I been trying hard to face it but still cant. I dont know why...All my friends help me but I wasted it all. Haizz...why is it like this? How can I forget about it....ITS BEEN ONE WHOLE YEAR!!! AAARRRGGHHH SO FRUSTRATED~~~

So many beautiful & sexy girls out there...but still I cant forget about her. Haiz...everytime I think positively...Im still hoping I could get a girl like her. Average girl with brilliant mind. Help me a lot...but I didnt do anything in return. Such a lousy am I...no wonder I get rejected so easily. Even though I realize about it...I still cant change it. Well...at least I wish Her & Her BF always happy together & have a GREAT life. ^^ I dun mind suffering because of this. I must punish myself in return of those bad past times. I wasted a lot in those 2 years when im with her. I should have start working for the sake of her happiness but I wasted all the chances. Now I realize she has given me a lot a lot a lot chances but I wasted it all & make her sad and disappointed about me. So so too late...Its so too late.

Searching for replacement...well...I dont think I have the guts to do so after these days I been rejected a lot. hahaha...everytime I face girls...my heart beat so fast & i would definitely sweating. I try to overcome it but always failed. Make me always to come up any excuses to get away & be alone. haiz...stupid. =.=" Really stupid...

I wish someone advices...ehem preferable girls lar. Damn it...of course I must get advices from girls ma because they are girls. They know something...I LACK OF FEMALE FRIENDS OOOHH~~~ So really to understand girls before I started to flirt again. If not...will always end up rejected or break up at the end...Haiz...who wan that happen anyway. Wound on outside are more faster to heal than wound inside. Aaahhh~~ SO SO SO PAIN~~~

p/s : My Heart now is...really really really PAINFUL & SUFFERING!!! God...Help...Me....