Aaaahh~~ Its been so long I dint update my blog. Hehehe...=p
Hmmm...well...many many many things did happen on me. Some are good and some are bad too. Balance...^^ hehehe anyway Im not going to share about bad things happen on me because I promise myself I wont think about negative stuffs again. If not I will be control by those thoughts...well anyway...Im going to share good things. XD hehehehe
Well...Im not pretty sure myself yet because its been hard for me. hahaha...Its really hard to explain. Since I was small I was sent to chinese school by my parents. I learn every chinese people do but its really hard to get some of their respect sometimes. Even own race also hard to get it. I usually like to chase chinese girls...I like to see the way their wearing their clothes, their hairstyle, and their way of living and thinking. Its totally different from other races. When it comes to business and money...they totally serious about it and know how to manage everything slowly. Not like other races...most of them like instant without any hardworking. Everytimes asking something for free. So sad...own races to think like that? Its totally stupid...I been friends with chinese people and none of them think like other people. None of them think that...there is something is free. I really like the way their thinking. I believe there is no such thing about "FREE" in this world except God creation...light, water, and most valuable...EARTH. Our very own planet...but sadly most people out there crazy about power and expanding their territory. Sad sad...such simple minded.
But...^^ not all other races have stupid way of thinking. hahaha...so no offend. We all humans...it just...very seldom I meet other races than chinese people have different way of thinking. I usually ignore people who have bad way of thinking. Its totally not for me. Im not going to waste my life living with stupid people. Chances??? Oh yea...sure...IF THEY CHANGE!!! Lolz...come on...I give so many chances but they always blow it. I even try to help but they dint listen. The attitude of always being right is totally extreme STUPID!!! =.=" what am I gonna do about it? Let my mind get infected by them? Lolz...no way ho zay...its a fool to friend a fool. Let them fool themselves rather then you become one of them.
So what Im trying to say is that Im...quite...interested...with...chinese people...especially girls....XD hehehehe...BUT!!!...at the end I get Dusun girlfriend...hahahahahaha...XD well...its really hard to find someone who really love and care about you. =_= its hard...ok? You girls wont understand it. We boys totally suffering to find those who really suits us. Im not even sure my girlfriend now is totally suits me or not. Im not sure how long we be able to be together. One thing that I scared I dun love her in the future...What will her feeling be if I left her? >.< until now Im still trying NOT to like other girls...especially chinese girls. Because since small I oledi one of them even though my blood is DUSUN but I BELIEVE myself that I am ONE of THEM. IM CHINESE IN MY HEART!!! That is my believe...YES IM CHINESE. If people ask me...I will say Im MIX DUSUN. XD hehehehe...Dusun By Blood, Chinese By Heart. What? Call me crazy ar? Then what about those who married? Chinese married malay? Chinese married dusun/kadazan? Chinese married...erm any lar...Arent they also stupid if you call me stupid? Lolz...
If some people says they are mix even though they are pure in non-chinese...i always respect them. Why? The way their thinking is POSITIVE. That's why...I know why Im not able to flirt chinese girls...it is because their way of thinking is totally upgrade. Im still me...slowly upgrading. I admit Im a slow learner but someday I can think more better than chinese people. IF Im not lazy of coz...Hahahahaha...Laziness always break my strong will. Lolz...XD But Im happy to have Dusun girlfriend now...well...=.= her thinking much more different than other girls I try to flirt. Most important that she's totally HONEST and UNDERSTANDING. But...the only thing Im worried is I would fall in love to chinese girls...My heart still got a bit pain about my past relationship. Its like a challenge to me...I promise myself I will marry to chinese girl someday but who knows...future always change in any situation. I love my GF now...but...Im still interested in chinese girls...because...I feel something missing in my heart. I really dont know what it is...I dun want to hurt my GF. I did say to her I love her always...but...AAARRRGGGHHH IM SO FRUSTRATED!!! Its not that we not suits to each other...its just about ME. I LIKE CHINESE PEOPLE!!! I wanted my GF to change me. To LOVE her more everyday...I try my best to maintain our relationship but there always something missing in my heart and I dun know what it is. I wish my GF know what to do about it. >.< Im totally confused and HEART PAIN!!! I really dun know what to do...
AARRRGGHHH...Got girlfriend or No girlfriend also headache. DAMN!!! hmmmmm...Nevermind...I BELIEVE my girlfriend can take care of it. I BELIEVE she can change me. I REALLY hope so...>.< if not Im gonna end up hurting her in the future. HIYOOO...I dun want this to happen in the future. I did found some chinese girls that I interested but...I cant do that. Im not gonna cheat my girlfriend at her back. BUT....AAARRRGGHHH...want crazy liao arrr...sap pai...=.="
Thanks for reading...
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