All this time...all this days...why I cant sleep well? why I keep awake? Its because of the nightmare I had...I wish and pray that it is not dejavu. I really dun wan it to happen...I wish it is only normal nightmare not a message/dejavu. If it does happen...what am I gonna do? What should we do? Why is it happening? So many questions but yet none have been answered yet. The only thing I can do is PRAY. So headache and frustrated if it does happen. Really duno what will happen in the future.
Sigh~~~ I also cant control myself sometimes...I feel so guilty when I think back about it especially when I hurt my mom feelings. I keep praying everyday to be able to control myself but it just make me more stress...make me more worst. What should I do? Stop everything what Im doing now? NO!!! I cant do that...I cant stop socialize!!! If I just stay home and dint go out with my friends? How am I able to maintain my chinese language? I learn a lot from them and they teach me a lot too...even sometimes they play play about it but still they really really really teach me the way of chinese people living. When im stress...I need them to clear my mind especially my friend, San. He really a brilliant thinker...so free minded...so relax person. He's a GREAT joker amongst us all...He always bring laughter in our group. When I think clearly...our group is the best. No clubbing...No Beer...No bad things. Just hang out, yam cha, movies, games, and everything healthy. If other people always wanted to bring me go clubbing and pub. NO WAY!!! Im not going to those smoky place anymore. I really cant breath properly there. YES of coz it is great experiences but its not worth to release tension there.
Yalar...clubbing and pub...many leng luis, many sexy girls, many pretty girls...but whats the use? Rosak rosak punya girls...Im not saying all but most of them. Its totally useless to have pretty and sexy on appearance if the brains are as tiny as bean. Only IDIOTs and STUPID minded guys would choose those kind of girls...Only those who think girls as playmate would choose on appearance not brain. Wanna test me? Come and try...I'll give u the REAL answer from my heart. Dont be suprised about it. Pretending? Lolz...you're totally suicide. You'll never know how good I am in game. You make the trap...I'll make you trap yourself. What? Wanna find both appearance and brain? Well...if you really can find one of them I'll say you are lucky because it is only 5%-10% of them in the world.
Now 1 thing for sure...If my family really falling apart. Those who make it happen...I will HUNT you down until the end of the world. I'll make sure you are SUFFERING more then us...I'll make sure your whole family line SUFFERING a lot. Lets see whose power are STRONGER!!! DO NOT MAKE ME SERIOUS!!! Im praying for God help...please please please dont let it happen. Just help my family...bring they suffer to me. Let me handle it alone. I hurt them a lot so let me carry their burdens on my shoulder. Dont mind over the limit...just dont make my family falling apart. If it does happen...The Hunter will rise again. NO!!! I WILL RISE AGAIN...I will take the Black Key and free the "darkside" of me. Bagus2 we live happily and all of sudden...family falling apart. DAMN!!! GO TO HELL to those make it happen...
p/s : T.T please please please nothing happen in my family. I dont want my mom hurt so much. I PRAY for God...please dont let our family falling apart. Protect my parents...my family...I dont mind if it need to exchange my life as long as they can live happily. As long as we all live happily without breaking apart. Haizzz...SUSAH LA KALO GINI...
