My Past Relationship

This is about my past relationship...3 or 4 years ago maybe. How my relationship started & ended...I wanted to talk this to someone who really really understand what im trying to do here but it seems i cant find any. So i write a blog about it.

I met Her in some place called Centre Point on 8th Floor which is also be known as Growball (Im with my friend that time too). She's so friendly, so sweet, & so comfortable to talk to. Well what i been trying to say is that its my 1st time to meet such a nice girl like Her which that very very very friendly & dont care about my race or anything. U know that kadazan people like me having so much hard time to get close to chinese girls. Its not im shy or anything, its like i scared i was being ignore & treated so badly. Well we did go yam cha or something like that & so on...You know...drinks & chit chat something like that. How did she find me? Well...my best friend gave my number to her because that time she was alone. Watching movie also alone...well you know "alone" right? And also i did company Her to bus stop when She was going home to Likas that time.

When i got home & online...that time was using MIRC. haha...old chatting things. Well she did online too...then we were chit chat & talk about sot sot things, funny things, & something idiots jokes even both of us dint understand about it. haha...

On the third day or fourth if i dont recall much...i heard from my best friend said that She's got interest in me. Well which boy not happy about it? Sure Im happy about it but i cant believe it. So i try "kao" her...trying hard to make Her likes me. We did go out several times...make Her laugh, make stupid jokes, n etc etc. Then after several weeks of sms-ing & chatting. I started to fall for Her & she also having hard time to choose who to be with...well actually i dont mind about it because i do really try hard already. I just tell Her to choose wise...must no regret.

After several weeks...well...haha we always together. At 1st i really scared to hold Her hand but i take my courage to hold Her hand. hahaha...my heart so so so fast beat. By the way...i did ask Her about when we were going to start our relationship. After she gave me the answer...well which boys not happy about it if a girl like Her choose to be with you even she havent Love you. Telling the truth that after several weeks we were together it takes me about 3 to 5 months to make Her love me...always accompany Her, sms-ing, & well...im sux that i never call Her. I always try to say the words "I Love You" but...those 3 words always been my nightmare so im trying so hard to find presents that can show my love for Her. I still can remember our anniversary suppose to be on November 15 2005...but she told me that She wanted our anniversary to be on Christmas's Eve. Well...i do agree about it because that day is the most special day. The day before Merry Christmas...^^

I still can remember what i gave Her...well im not gonna said it because its like a junks. On 14 Feb 2006 which is Valentine's Day...I bought a couple ring for us...^^ it was so much sweet memories when i look at the ring. Actually i wanted to throw it after broke up with Her but it seems i cant...Its not about waste or anything...Its like...those memories are hard to be thrown away.

After 1 year...She got tired using bus. I been so stupid not listening to Her so much until She force me to take license. After i took all the test n bla bla so on...well im succeed it without fail once. Haha hard work really do give some affort...^^ Well our relationship go on & on & on~ until the day...where She started to get tired with me after 2 years relationship. She keep asking me when to break up & said that if not break up early, She cant let me go...that time im really confused & try so hard to convince Her not to. But there are some answers really really really make me sad. Im not gonna said it here because i dont want it effect other people. Let it be me to take effect...also that time i keep thinking what mistakes i done...what did i do wrong? i try to ask Her but she said nothing wrong with me...

The most sweetest memories are when i go Her Farewell Party...I enjoy dancing with Her. Slow dance...^^ well thats the most sweetest moment i ever had. The 1st night time i go out with Her actually...usually i go Her house accompany Her then go back home. But then...when She started to have class in college. I see that She change so much...much more different. After 3 months She in that college...sudden feeling flow on me...its like something went wrong. Then I greet Her in sms like normal things "How Are You?" something like that. But then when i say i want to meet Her...She told me "Sure" but must know one thing that She's no longer Single...I really suprised about the news...Feeling so sad & regret...Bit disappointed so i cancel my plan to meet Her. Well im a type that would never go near a girl who already in a relationship...its like trying to take over something like that. Im not that kind of person. Well maybe its my nature that i scared to go near to those girls that already in relationship. (Hope readers understand what i been trying to explain here)

After the news...I try so hard to forget about Her but it seems i cant get my mind of Her. I even try to hate Her so that i could forget about Her but i failed too. When She chat with me...I dint even treat Her good. Make Her laugh like last time...I just pretending to be Busy...now i regret about what i been doing. So regret & Sad...until now im still having problems to forget about Her. My best friend keep convince me to stop thinking about Her but...well there's no way sweetest memories can be forgotten right? unless there's someone new in your life...All this time i been trying to find Her replacement...but the more i search the more less courage & believe i have. I really do scared to fall in love again...its the truth about me now. I really do scared to "kao" other girls anymore...just be friends only. Acting & pretending nothing happens in my life...everything fine. Well that's all im trying to share...hope you all understand about it...^^~ peace & no hard feeling please.

P/s : 1 thing i regret is that when i was in relationship with Her...im a jobless idiot. Cant even buy anything nice for Her...now all the promises i made for Her before, I had no choice to break it all so that i wont need to meet Her again. I really scared...scared that if i saw Her...My pain would grew. Soon im gonna be jobless too...searching better salary.

Wishing Her Happiness & Good Luck Always...
Pray Their Relationship Would Last Long...

PeacE..^^~

Thanks For Everything...
Thanks For All The Sweetest Memories...

- Rick JokEr -