You Are My Angel

=You Are My Angel=

dian hua li de wo
shi bu shi hen zhuo
an wei ni de hua
bu zhi gai zen me shuo
ta zai ni de xin
hua le yi dao shang kou
bo kai wu yun duo
fei lai wo de tian kong

ruan ruo de shuang shou
huan wo lai jin wo
ting ni de yao qiu
he hu ni de gan shou
an fu ni de xin
feng he ni de shang kou
you wo lai qing ting
song ni wo de er duo

* You are my angel
fei dao wo zuo you
zai ni de yu zhou
mei ke xing dou shi wo
You are my angel
pei ban wo zuo you
jiu suan hai zhe huo
lu di dou chen mo
ai ni dao zui hou /

(Repeat *)

duo xi wang
dao zhuan hui dao shi kong
zu zhi ni men
xiang yu de shi hou
dai zhe ni tao tuo
ji shi wo Look like a fool
ye xu zhe me zuo
ni jiu bu hui
nan guo

(Repeat *)

This song reminds me a lot about my past relationship...It also remind me when I got rejected a lot. >.< ouch~~

Well lets see....Hmmmm What I understand about this song is there is a girl who in trouble, sad and cry. And, guess what...there's this handsome guy helping her out. Trying hard to cheer her up, make her happy and accompany her. He try very very hard to cheer her up and make her happy. Everytime accompany her...hehehe he even teach her how to play piano. (Woorr...I WANT LEARN PIANO!!! Okay back to topic...) The present he gave her really...O.o really GOOD...an Angel. He even write a song for her...maybe to make her happy more but Im not sure. What I really salute is 1 message he IMMEDIATELY find her. XD HERO! but too bad...=.=" most girls find its annoying. Haizz...duno why they dint appreciate it.

No wonder the song title is You Are My Angel...hehe but...sadly and disappointed that the girl just treat him as best friend. Saw the last part about the bracelet? Forever Friend. Aaawww damn it...1st time I saw this video I thought in the end she love him too but...well...=.=" I can understand the feeling of sadness and disappointment when you love someone but at the end up being friend forever. DAMN HURT!!!

I was in this situation A LOT...I help them out...TRYING SO HARD but not all of them appreciate it. Even a simple thank you also dont have. When I needed help...I end up stands alone. But I dun mind about that. What I really mind is that when I help someone and they forget about me. I mean like pretending not knowing me at all after all I done for them. Im a type that willing to sacrifice everything for the girl I REALLY REALLY REALLY INTERESTED with...I dun mind end up hurt as long as the girl happy. I fail once...Im not gonna fail make a girl happy ever again. I will try to help her as long as she willing to tell me her problems. Im all ears...I will listen carefully. But...even I change being Good Listener. I still dint get what I always wanted. I still cant find "replacement" that can heal my heart. Well I do find but all got boyfriend oledi. So PAIN!!! So JEALOUS!!! You know how hard to find the girl I've been searching for??? Haizz...to those guys out there who got a very very very GOOD girls and they understand you very well and accept who you are...YOU ALL SO LUCKY!!! DONT HURT THEM!!! I'll.....kill you...O.O (Use Achmed The Dead Terrorist style)...XD wehehehehe...

I dedicated this song to...those I ever help. =.=" I dun really understand the real meaning of the song but I do know this song is nice to listen and very calm. XD wehehehehehe...

Please...do send me the lyric of this song. THANKS...^^

P/s: I also dedicated this song for my ex-GF. Thanks for being with me and teach me a lot. You deserve BETTER. ^^ And Thanks for NOT forget about me. I REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY to see your SWEET & CUTE SMILE again last time in Internet Arena, City Mall. Well it hurts me when I saw your BF with you but...what's more important is that Im so happy to see you again. You really change a lot...You are LADY now. ^^ Keep up the good work...Good Luck with your study. ^^ Dont ever give up...O.O I'll kill you if you give up...(Use Achmed The Dead Terrorist style again) By the way nice blog and arts you got...^^ wish got people buy your arts. Hehehe Peace...^^

Car Accidents

What make car accidents happen?

Think~~ Think hard~~

Ahh...its so easy. Well...for so long I've been driving. Sometimes I do become one of them but I manage to control it. Wanna know why car accidents happen? It is because of the people themselves. They think they are better driver than everyone else. Got chance sure have chance. I dont believe that actually. I believe we have to value our life every second. Every seconds count when the word "DANGER" is coming.

Today I drive and go out go to post office. Need to settle something. Know what? Everywhere I go sure got DANGER...I'll be careful also no use. Other people not. They always think they better driver. What I mean is they're not following the basic rules of the road. They never understand the word of "Becareful". Most accidents happen because of people wanna be FAST & FURIOUS. Lolz...hey dudes, this is sabah. The nasty roads ever got in the world. Even sarawak have better roads now. Sabah? What happen? Not even reach 3 months the roads all got holes. =.=" such works~~~ say what? Susah fix road? need time? Hey...tell you what. Fix it PROPERLY the way west malaysia fix their roads. That way the word "SUSAH" wont appear in your mind. Okay already out of topic.

Now continue...until where already. Aaahhh yes..."racer" type drivers. This is mostly to those who have modify their cars and also for taxi people. Im disappoint but THANKS GOD...you are FAIR. They got accidents and learn their lessons. How is it feel when to fix your car? =D Big smile for you all. Hahahaha...There is one time when I was driving alone. Thanks God I try extra extra extra careful because for all of sudden...one driver who drive fast and you know la...potong potong line then last last...BOOM...accident. Man...Am I glad to see he's accident. You should be lucky you're not dead. Lolz...Anyway whats wrong driving slow and steady? Im in slow line also need to horn? Well...the more you horn the more I drive slow. I'll teach you slow line is for people who drive slow. Not "racer" type like you...Oh what? you never had accident because your driving skills so so PROFESSIONAL? Oh please~~ you might not accident but did something bad happen on you? Please wake up...Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga. Know what the meaning of that sentence? Hahahaha...serve you right.

Okay...hmmm what else ar...many kind of actions lar. I was so angry about it but...oh well...someday they will fall too. XD God is Fair. I love this...someday they will get their "present". XD hohoho if you die because of car accidents...I got no comments. =.=" maybe you do too many bad things sampai equal to your dead. But...dont bring innocence people with you. They dont deserve it.

That's all I wanna share...Thanks for reading it. ^^

Recovery and Mysteries

Aaaarrrrrggghhhh!!!! HHHUUUURRAAAHHH!!! Its good to be back!!! IM...R.E.C.O.V.E.R!!!....uhuk uhuk...well not that much. Hahaha...At least I no longer suffer from heavy fever and coughing. Thanks to my Aunt that gave me antibiotics...=.=" it is truely strong medicine. Hehehehe...anyway Im glad to have my normal strength back although Im still bit sensitive to cold wind. I catch cold pretty easy for it. Oww~~ I hate sick but its the only way I could throw away my sweatsss~~~ Aahhh nevermind...I must training back but this rainy days really pissed me off sometimes...=.=" how the hell Im gonna go jogging if its keep raining after 5pm. Lolz...Oh well.

Hmmm...well recently...nothing bad or good happens. AH YES!!! There is something...a LETTER. It was written 5 years ago and...well...I think I disappointed the girl. I dint reply her actually. I wanted to reply now but...come one...5 years ago...impossible she could remember me anyway and probably she already back to her home town. The address she gave me is 5 years ago too where she still study in selangor. I was so so so suprised when I saw the letter. She was expecting me to reply her but I turn her down. Damn Im totally stupid and useless. I wanted to reply her and...well...if have any chance I just want to talk to her. I keep her letter for memory. ^^ Well I do hope and wish I bump into her. This kind of mystery really excite me sometimes. XD hehehehe...I wish I really really really bump into her. I dont care how she looks like as long as I able to know who is she. She called herself as Baby_Blue or Baby_Bule...=.=" cant remember much. Its written in her letter. I do remember I chat with her before but...I cant believe I just found her letter after 5 years. =.=" someone and somehow there are people who hold my letters. Everything about my privates always like...being control and...dibongkar. I HATE IT!!! Anyway back to story...She called herself as Baby_Blue and her real name is Mei Yee or A-Mei from sandakan. Oooookay~~ Thats quite near but...her address was show in selangor where she still studied 5 years ago. Damn!!! Where is this girl...XD hehehe...If I wanted to find her I have to go her university and find all about her but...where can I get such info and no way the people in that university going to help me anyway. It might happen like this..."OUTSIDER!!! Kick HIM!!!..." ooouchh~~ that totally embarrassing...Oh yea...her university full name is University Putrajaya Malaysia. O_O I REALLY WANT TO FIND THIS GIRL. Well...maybe she's the one for me. XD hehehehe Damn Im a BIG JERK for not replying her. She probably have boyfriend now or even married already.

Hmmm...so...do I need to find her or not leh~? Haiz...well...let God settle it. If got "jodoh" then we meet...if not...then wish her happy and good luck. ^^ hehe I guess this is 3rd chances I lost. The 1st one turn out to be disappointment...well its my fault anyway. I never blame her...I did before but when I think it clearly...everything my fault. >.< 2nd one is...well...Im almost wish the girl broke up with her boyfriend but I cant. Im not some of those people out there who like to break other people relationship to earn own benefits. Lolz...its totally against my promises. 3rd one is this one....=.=" the letter. Come on...what chances I have for a letter that wrote 5 years ago. No way the girl still single...=.=" She probably married already anyway. Okay...that's all I wanted to share for now. Hope you readers enjoy it.

P/s : This blog actually nothing special yet...Its all about what I've been through now. Just wait the time...= =+ I will RISE!!! I will SHINE!!! I will have everything that I lost...oh wait...not everything. I cant break up people relationship. Lolz...dont misunderstanding. XD hehehehe I mean I will come back as.....erm.....as....err.....you know....erm.....come back as.............what I wanted to be. Okay Bubye~ XD

Sickful Weather and My Feeling...

Oh God Damn...I hate this kind of weather where from hot day then suddenly become rainy. Hot then cold...who would get sick at this time anyway. I wonder why my body so weak since I keep eating vitamins. =.=" izzit lack of exercise? Lolz like I have time for that. Every morning I have to send my mom and bro to work. How am I going to spend time on jogging and exercise? 5pm/6pm? Lolz I fetch my mom n bro too. I just wish I have time to exercise like last time again but its seem so hard due to my situation and the God Damn changing weather. Aaahh~~ its totally hard. Oh well...just go with the flow then.

About my feeling right now...hahaha this might sound crazy, stupid and totally desperate but not wrong right? To find special girlfriend now. Its good to have someone that you really can talk to all the time. Sharing feelings, problems and etc. Last time its happen on me but it was year ago. I spoil it with my bad attitudes. I really regret what happen then...I wish I could always listen but it always turns out to be disappointment. Everytime I wanna talk about something that in my mind. I always have no one to listen to. Well...no girls wanna listen to it anyway so I just have to keep it in my heart. Im actually straight person...I just talk right away of my problems but...hahaha...nobody willing to listen. I do chat with a lot of girls but none of them want to listen of my problems. Well i think probably I really duno how to talk with girls. I no longer know how to start a good conversation. Hahahah...stupid right? and most important of all...None of the single girls I chat is really serious about relationship but I really like those open minded girls who already have boyfriend. I always wanted to listen how their boyfriend treat them. (Well...ctually Im looking for a tips/hints from them...XD hehehehe...shhhhh) And also I dont really talk about this with my family. It just...well...totally not the kind of topic that suits with my family. I dont really talk much about my problems either because I know what will their advices are. Always the same...=.=" so why should share anyway. It just turn out to be worst all the time.

Also, =.=" I pretty shy to meet girls now because Im really ugly. I scared once they meet me, they wont want to talk to me or meet me for the 2nd time. It always happen on me a lot so...I pretty lack of confidence now. That's why its been so hard for me to find special girlfriend. Hahahaha...Yeah I know Im desperate but its not totally wrong about it right? Come on...Im 24 this year and still single? Dont tell me you want me to become 40 years old virgin like in that movie? Hahaha...Im totally disagree but thats life right? Many problems will come after one another. To be honest Im pretty jealous to all the couples out there. Holding hands, laughing to each other, chit chat and etc but some I really hate because of their bad attitudes. Come on...wanna do something go privacy lar. Dont so open...this is malaysia. I hate see couples out there kena checking lar, this and that. Wanna do something just go privacy. Dont let those "official gengsters" capture you. =.=" nanti ada "unofficial gengsters" disturb more worst. Now economy crisis...I suggest dont luan luan go out especially couple. Every night I go out I only go one place call City Mall...Its the only safe place I can go because of the securities there. Only City Mall securities are very responsible. Thats why I feel safe there. I know its bad to go out every day but...Im totally STRESS. Takkan simpan dalam hati...I dont want more SUFFERING but I do feel guilty everytime. I wanna go beach but my instinct always tell me dont even I have many friends to go with. Want find job also I need my instinct because I hate being backstab. Hardworking also want backstab...How to survive anyway? I dont really want to be BAD again. I dont want my wild attitudes come back. I dont want make troubles anymore. So please lar dont force me...I dint disturb you also.

Now most important is I must try to change my attitudes and calm my mind. I always stay in STRESS mode sampai my hair keep dropping. HAIR!!! DROPPPING!!! More worst...become more ugly. =.=" I try many product but none of them working. I keep wondering why...izzit my dietary? daily foods or what? Never get the answer. Last time my hair very tebal one even got drop also...now...macam sudah jadi orang tua. Less hair and more pimples...=.=" girls see also laugh because got botak botak...haiz...sakit hati. More lack of confidence because of this.

That's all I wanna share for now...It is what in my mind actually. Only my blog is my very close friend. He read everything what I wanted to write. XD hehehehe sot sot kan me? Even there is no advices at all...I still calm me down a while. At least I can still honestly smile because of this. =p hehehehe...well Thanks for reading this post. ^^

I Hate Being Part Of My Family Sometimes

I hate being part of my family sometimes...I WANT TO LOOK FORWARD!!! Not BACKWARD!!! IDIOT!!! Dont always mention about the past...APA ITU JASA KALAU SENDIRI TIDAK MAJU? BAKA!!! STUPID!!! IDIOT!!! BRAINLESS!!! Dont argue with me using the past times...You cant fight me anymore!!! Im looking forward. KEEP THINKING HOW TO GET MONEY BY DOING SMALL BUSINESS. Thought I never think about this? Lolz...Im maybe pure kadazanese blood but I always have the brain of CHINESE PEOPLE. This is what you all want me to be right? I've been trying so hard about it. Ingat senang ka want get respect from certain chinese people, HUH? You thought LIFE IS EASY? You thought easy to communicate those king of people? Think about it...I less time to go back my kampung because of this. I WANNA LEARN THEIR WAY OF THINKING. That's why I only interested chinese people. Dont say I dont give some respect to my own race. I ALWAYS DO!!! But cant I be bit different from others? This is my life...STAY OUT OF IT!!! STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PAST. MAJU LA!!! BODOH!!! Sejak bila orang kadazan mahu maju??? DONT TALK IF NO ACTIONS TO BE DONE!!! You think I go out with my friends every night just for fun? Meeting new friends must have respect to each other. They look at me like chinese people but what happen if they know im pure kadazanese? Do you think I would get same respect? Think about it DAMN IT...My way of thinking FAR MORE DIFFERENT than you big brother. I DONT TALK ABOUT THE PAST!!! Ingat JASA ko tu MAHAL ka? Do you wanna know why I dint want to attend your wedding? ITS BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY!!! I've been control BECAUSE of you!!! MO ADA GF PUN MOM LARANG SAMPAI SYA TERPAKSA BREAK UP SAMA DIA!!! PASAL KO LA SYA SUFFERING. Sya sentiasa hormat ko sebagai abang tapi ko selalu anggap sya macam anjing!!! Ingat hati sya senang ka? Kenapa la ko ada kerja...I CANNOT BE BETTER MEH??? SOHAI KIA...KANASAI LAU.

Gggrr...I hate arguing about the past. Stupid...ndak pandai maju. Totally idiot. Totally no improvement.

My Feeling...

Its been so long I dint write about "my feeling..." ^^...now Im going to write it again. The story still the same...well here goes again. ^^

Recently there's so many things happening on me...well I do go out a lot because I wanted to clear my mind. But my action always make my mum worried about me. I was wondering if I could have better computer. I might stay home and be in front of the super computer. XD but sadly...I have to go out to play the game I wanted to play. This game called Call Of Duty 4...the only game that make my mind completely clear and dint think about my pasts. Its a game where you become soldier in the game. It looks so real until its hard for me to kill someone. Hahaha...nevermind about that. Most important is that...the pasts haunted me again. Damn...I duno why. Suddenly I dream about it everything. From the beginning until the end of the day...everyday my dream is like...continue story. It makes me really uncomfordable and even hurts me a lot. Its been 8 days already. I tried not to think about it but...those dreams and my pasts keep haunting me. What I hate is that it is all about my past relationship. GOD DAMN IT!!! Looks like I still cant let go of my past. Well I tried so hard anyway. That's why I always wanted to play the game I played to calm my mind.

If I dream about the sweetest memories...Okay lar. But...hiyooo dream about the bad one...ITS NIGHTMARE!!! Everytime wake up sure the 1st pain I feel is in my heart. Really farked up...If headache because of not enough sleep Im still okay about it. But to feel back the heartbroken is totally unacceptable. AAARRGGHHH!!! Sometimes I feel like I want to suicide but cannot...=.= sure go to hell. Better I go out there help someone about their relationship. Biar la sendiri suffering as long as Im not those "thiefs" out there. Buat bagus kena balas bagus jugak lar someday. I dont mind suffering because its part of my life already. I dont mind kena cheated again as long as I dont hurt them. I dont mind I help people but they dint help me back. Most important I done the right things thats enough for me. As long as those people out there I help live happily thats more than enough for me already.

I really dont need anyone help except from my family because if people help me...I will keep rely on them. No...thats unacceptable. I must try my best to help myself so I dont need to rely on anybody else even they dont mind. "Bu hao yi shi" bah...keep getting help from others and you hard to help them back. Want balas jasa also hard...thats even make me more uncomfordable. >.< But anyway...thats not important right now. Whats important is that...I really really wanna scream and release my pain. AAARRRGGGHH!! uhuk uhuk...XD hehehehe Haiz...hard lar. Its totally hard...I wish to have better computer and a piano in my house. Better computer is for making remix songs. My friends have the software...piano is I want to calm my mind. Only if Im able to play better. Lolz...duno how to play. Hahahaha...well to have computer Im not only wanted to make remix songs but also I wanted to play better game. The game that Im talking about that is. hahaha...anyway...that's it for now. Im feeling better after I write everything here even though the "dreams" still haunted me. Hahaha

Thanks for reading it...^^

Jealousy of Pianist

HUUUUURRRAAHHH!!! Im so jealous about this...See this!!!





This 2 only the example why I want to learn piano...I still got a lot a lot in my computer. Classic version is always the best. I really really wanna learn piano but dont have piano or keyboard at home. Haizz~~ so so sad lar!!! I wanna take piano classic course. Baru boleh compose lagu sendiri...can join church event again. Im so jealous to see those people who know play piano very well and able to compose any songs they want. >.< haiz...I wish I had a lot money now...buy keyboard. LolZ XD hehehhee...