New Year 2009

New Year 2009

Time pass so so fast...nasib not like running water. Wahahahaha...but seriously. Time really pass so fast. >.< haiz...There still many things to do this year but terpaksa tangguh for New Year. Hmmm...really dont know what to do at all. Blur Blur Future...teruk betul. Sometimes I feel regret for what I am now but only what I learn only can let me survive. I wanna learn new things...But it seem to be late already. Due to the economy now...I really dont dare to learn new things. To be cook really stressful & frustrated. But what to do...only this skills I learn & dint upgrade it so much. Now I just realize I have to move on. But 1st of all I need to change my attitude. I really bad at it. Haiz...susah la like this. Everytime also like this...so so hard to change sometimes. The bad attitude always come back at anytime.

Anyway...I wish everyone Happy New Year. ^^ Good Luck & Stay Healthy always. hehehe...=p I wish my family and my friends always happy. ^^ I also wish I could be happy but...there still many things to do. ^^ hehehe...

Peace...

Breakdance!!!

BREAKDANCE!!!

This is the 2nd reason why I want to be strong....HOHOHO becoz I wanna dance!!! Let me show you why I like to breakdance...1st reason...See these videosss~~~











Nice Videos isn't it? Hahaha...Well...They are my Idol especially Bboy Baek...His skills really make me jealous so much. @.@" I dont care how long I can be like him as long as I be able to dance like that someday. XD hehehe

Sometimes jealousy also give us strength not to give up quickly. XD hehehe

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! ^^

Hehehe...well...Im happy to see everyone happy on Christmas Day. But for me...Im not really happy at all. ^^ I duno why but...at least my friends all happy. Hahaha...I wish everyone happy and good luck everything what they doing. I go church today and I wish everyone be happy except me. I ask for God to take care all my friends especially my ex and her BF. Well...I wish they happy together. ^^ I ask for suffering more so that I can pay back my loses past 3 years. I've been enjoying so much this years and never think about my future. Well I did sometimes but it stress me more. What I cant forgive myself is when I was with my ex. I didn't listen to her and always keep secret from her. Its not that im lying about my relationship. Its that I lie for her own good...I dont wan to hurt her. Her parents doesn't seem to like me anyway so I think it is better I accept every decision she made. hahaha...Now im glad that she didn't choose BF someone like me again. She with someone who have stable career and really can take care of her. Not like me...I have no bright future yet. I was really such a fool for not listening to anyone especially Her. I've been so stubborn. Now Im very regret about it. I wish I could turn back time to correct all my mistakes but...even I could turn back time. It doesn't mean anything too. Why? because this is what life really mean. People won't become strong if there's no BIG WALL in front of them. Either climb the wall or destroy it. Im still hurt about it but...hehehe ^^ at least they all happy. They happy Im happy. That's enough...there still many roads in front of me. I choose one road which will suffer me more but I must pay all my debts and my stupidity for past 3 years. I must repay everything if not I couldn't forgive myself for it. ^^ Anyway...I wish everyone safety because every end of years. There's always danger going on. I really hate those low life people for disturbing our peace. I really do hate it. That's why this is one of the reason I want to be strong even though I have weak heart. Doesn't mean I have weak body and mind. XD heheheh puji diri sendiri dulu. Must lar...cannot stay low ony ma...XD hehehehe

Haiz...susah lar become small like this. Not tall enough...Tall and big people owez bully me. I really hate it. But im glad God give me speed that I been wanted but I will end up exhausted. hahaha...Laju tu laju but at the end...BOOM...K.O. Tired...wakakakakaka Last time I almost out of breath coz of testing my running. Very fast but...im almost collapse. @.@" hampir hampir black out. Damn...hehehe nvm lar...XD

Anyway...I wish everyone the best and happy owez. ^^ Good Luck in everything what u guys been doing now. Stay healthy and Strong. ^^

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!

So into jealousy but...=p

Haaah~~ hahaha...so into jealousy...=p Hehehe

Sometimes...I duno why and which part of me that makes me happy while watching other people life out there especially those who in a relationship. Its like...I duno...but kinda nice n calm to watch them smile to each other, holding hands, some put their heads on shoulder while holding hands n etc. Hahaha...so jealous but weird that it dint make me sad or disappointed about last time. =p...I think i should become photographer. Let me take photo for those who in a relationship. XD hehehe really damn it oh me...like stalker. I think really stalker. WAakakakkakaak but i dont think malaysian people like their photo taken while their holding hands or doing anything couple thingy. Why? Hiya....MALU la apa lagi. Nvm de lar...XD I put it in my mind ok edi...or make blog without photo. XD

I dedicated all this songs for them and anyone who read this post...^^















Hantam sja...duno suits or not...Nice songs I just put in ony...XD hehehe

Fun stuffz

Cosplay

What is cosplay? cosplay is cosplay... ... ...heheheh just kidding. Cosplay means you bring your character to real life and most important of all you act everything you cosplay. All the pose, actions and style. XD

Here some example :







Haiya...I give 3 Best example only lar.

Now...Here some SCARY game!!! 1st View Shooter...What kind of game? Lets see the Review...ngek ngek ngek!!!



Hohohohohoho YES!!! Its...Left4Dead!!! Left 4 people to die!!! All have already become zombie!!! This is the best shooting game yet...confusing and dizzy. Hahaha...XD

Another Goal

Another goal...

I want to be STRONG and never FEAR against bad people. IM TIRED OF WATCHING PEOPLE GET BULLY WHILE OTHERS JUST WATCH WITHOUT HELPING!!! I wanna help but scared. Now a days...I always scared of pain because of the pain I hold on my heart. I want able to kick straight to the head. One swing, One Blow, One Life. Thats want I want against bad people. IM TIRED OF BAD PEOPLE WONDER AROUND DISTURBING OUR PEACE BUT NO ONE TAKE ACTIONS. STUPID!!! WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING??? WE ALL MALAYSIAN!!! TAKE ACTION LAR!!! STAY TOGETHER FIGHT AGAINST THEM. INI 1 ORANG KACAU 10-30 ORANG NDAK BERANI TOLONG. BODOH!!!

Now...I train my body & my fists back. Well...I did it also because I wan to breakdance. =p hehehehe hiya body not enough fit how to breakdance ooo...Capoire lagi. I want my body to be able to backflip again like last time. Aaaahhhh that kind of feeling sooo sooo good. Now kumpul money buy punching bag. Must become STRONG for emergency. Must be able to protect myself. Selalu kena bully...selalu kena kacau. I always run. Lolz...of course lar I run. Since last time NO ONE...I said it again. NO EVEN ONE BAD GUYS EVER CATCH UP MY SPEED!!! HAHAHA!!! TULAH MAKAN DADAH LAR!!! Lari ndak laju. Cepat penat...kalo kejar mimang gerenti K.O sudah. Sana lagi sya ambil kesempatan pijak kepala ko. HAHAHA!!! AYAM MATI....GO DIE LAR ALL RUBBISH.

What I most disappointed is that own race also in drugs...buat kacau sini sana. HAMKACAN LARR!!! If I really dont care my life I oledi KILL u while u not even watching. Diao...Lucky for you I still can control my anger. That's why I want to become STRONG. STRONG to overcome my ANGER!!! If not...I oledi end up in jail. NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE ME BAD GUYS...Once you are my TARGET. Dont think you can escape. Isk...that's also why I MUST PLAY GAME!!! No GAME...I CANT CALM DOWN!!! ONLY GAME CAN CALM ME DOWN. So stop asking me to stop playing games. Games only can calm me down. Or...MONEY FOR SHOPPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD hehehhe many money sure I shop until I got everything I need. XD so many style in my mind I wanna try. Ngam me...ok...next time ndak ngam. Kasi orang jak for christmas presents...XD or collect them all and open 2nd hand shop to sell them all.

Okay...what else again. Hmmm...oh...i think thats all lar. I write this post because today I saw got people being bully at my work place. Im not sure they pilak or malay or wat. All I know they steal that kid Hp & money. I wanna help but...I oledi inside my car. Takkan stop engine in the middle of jam & go out help. Sure kena Hon gao gao...haiz...so sad and disappointed. Okay lar...until here lar.

IM SUFFERING AGAIN!!!

Help Needed...

Why?

Well...I really still cant forget about my past relationship. People are right about it. Its easy to forgive but hard to forget. Even though I didnt meet here face to face but when I saw her my heart beat very very very fast & my whole body shakes so much. And fear taking over me again. Damn...I really wish I could forget & forgive. I been listening all my friends advices but its just...SO HARD!!! Aaarrrgghhh I AM SO NEED HELP!!! God Damn It...Why like this? I never had this kind of feeling before...I wish I could do something about it but...This damn "FEAR" has taken over me again.

I really scared to face it. I always run away. I been trying hard to face it but still cant. I dont know why...All my friends help me but I wasted it all. Haizz...why is it like this? How can I forget about it....ITS BEEN ONE WHOLE YEAR!!! AAARRRGGHHH SO FRUSTRATED~~~

So many beautiful & sexy girls out there...but still I cant forget about her. Haiz...everytime I think positively...Im still hoping I could get a girl like her. Average girl with brilliant mind. Help me a lot...but I didnt do anything in return. Such a lousy am I...no wonder I get rejected so easily. Even though I realize about it...I still cant change it. Well...at least I wish Her & Her BF always happy together & have a GREAT life. ^^ I dun mind suffering because of this. I must punish myself in return of those bad past times. I wasted a lot in those 2 years when im with her. I should have start working for the sake of her happiness but I wasted all the chances. Now I realize she has given me a lot a lot a lot chances but I wasted it all & make her sad and disappointed about me. So so too late...Its so too late.

Searching for replacement...well...I dont think I have the guts to do so after these days I been rejected a lot. hahaha...everytime I face girls...my heart beat so fast & i would definitely sweating. I try to overcome it but always failed. Make me always to come up any excuses to get away & be alone. haiz...stupid. =.=" Really stupid...

I wish someone advices...ehem preferable girls lar. Damn it...of course I must get advices from girls ma because they are girls. They know something...I LACK OF FEMALE FRIENDS OOOHH~~~ So really to understand girls before I started to flirt again. If not...will always end up rejected or break up at the end...Haiz...who wan that happen anyway. Wound on outside are more faster to heal than wound inside. Aaahhh~~ SO SO SO PAIN~~~

p/s : My Heart now is...really really really PAINFUL & SUFFERING!!! God...Help...Me....