Another Goal

Another goal...

I want to be STRONG and never FEAR against bad people. IM TIRED OF WATCHING PEOPLE GET BULLY WHILE OTHERS JUST WATCH WITHOUT HELPING!!! I wanna help but scared. Now a days...I always scared of pain because of the pain I hold on my heart. I want able to kick straight to the head. One swing, One Blow, One Life. Thats want I want against bad people. IM TIRED OF BAD PEOPLE WONDER AROUND DISTURBING OUR PEACE BUT NO ONE TAKE ACTIONS. STUPID!!! WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING??? WE ALL MALAYSIAN!!! TAKE ACTION LAR!!! STAY TOGETHER FIGHT AGAINST THEM. INI 1 ORANG KACAU 10-30 ORANG NDAK BERANI TOLONG. BODOH!!!

Now...I train my body & my fists back. Well...I did it also because I wan to breakdance. =p hehehehe hiya body not enough fit how to breakdance ooo...Capoire lagi. I want my body to be able to backflip again like last time. Aaaahhhh that kind of feeling sooo sooo good. Now kumpul money buy punching bag. Must become STRONG for emergency. Must be able to protect myself. Selalu kena bully...selalu kena kacau. I always run. Lolz...of course lar I run. Since last time NO ONE...I said it again. NO EVEN ONE BAD GUYS EVER CATCH UP MY SPEED!!! HAHAHA!!! TULAH MAKAN DADAH LAR!!! Lari ndak laju. Cepat penat...kalo kejar mimang gerenti K.O sudah. Sana lagi sya ambil kesempatan pijak kepala ko. HAHAHA!!! AYAM MATI....GO DIE LAR ALL RUBBISH.

What I most disappointed is that own race also in drugs...buat kacau sini sana. HAMKACAN LARR!!! If I really dont care my life I oledi KILL u while u not even watching. Diao...Lucky for you I still can control my anger. That's why I want to become STRONG. STRONG to overcome my ANGER!!! If not...I oledi end up in jail. NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE ME BAD GUYS...Once you are my TARGET. Dont think you can escape. Isk...that's also why I MUST PLAY GAME!!! No GAME...I CANT CALM DOWN!!! ONLY GAME CAN CALM ME DOWN. So stop asking me to stop playing games. Games only can calm me down. Or...MONEY FOR SHOPPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD hehehhe many money sure I shop until I got everything I need. XD so many style in my mind I wanna try. Ngam me...ok...next time ndak ngam. Kasi orang jak for christmas presents...XD or collect them all and open 2nd hand shop to sell them all.

Okay...what else again. Hmmm...oh...i think thats all lar. I write this post because today I saw got people being bully at my work place. Im not sure they pilak or malay or wat. All I know they steal that kid Hp & money. I wanna help but...I oledi inside my car. Takkan stop engine in the middle of jam & go out help. Sure kena Hon gao gao...haiz...so sad and disappointed. Okay lar...until here lar.

IM SUFFERING AGAIN!!!

Help Needed...

Why?

Well...I really still cant forget about my past relationship. People are right about it. Its easy to forgive but hard to forget. Even though I didnt meet here face to face but when I saw her my heart beat very very very fast & my whole body shakes so much. And fear taking over me again. Damn...I really wish I could forget & forgive. I been listening all my friends advices but its just...SO HARD!!! Aaarrrgghhh I AM SO NEED HELP!!! God Damn It...Why like this? I never had this kind of feeling before...I wish I could do something about it but...This damn "FEAR" has taken over me again.

I really scared to face it. I always run away. I been trying hard to face it but still cant. I dont know why...All my friends help me but I wasted it all. Haizz...why is it like this? How can I forget about it....ITS BEEN ONE WHOLE YEAR!!! AAARRRGGHHH SO FRUSTRATED~~~

So many beautiful & sexy girls out there...but still I cant forget about her. Haiz...everytime I think positively...Im still hoping I could get a girl like her. Average girl with brilliant mind. Help me a lot...but I didnt do anything in return. Such a lousy am I...no wonder I get rejected so easily. Even though I realize about it...I still cant change it. Well...at least I wish Her & Her BF always happy together & have a GREAT life. ^^ I dun mind suffering because of this. I must punish myself in return of those bad past times. I wasted a lot in those 2 years when im with her. I should have start working for the sake of her happiness but I wasted all the chances. Now I realize she has given me a lot a lot a lot chances but I wasted it all & make her sad and disappointed about me. So so too late...Its so too late.

Searching for replacement...well...I dont think I have the guts to do so after these days I been rejected a lot. hahaha...everytime I face girls...my heart beat so fast & i would definitely sweating. I try to overcome it but always failed. Make me always to come up any excuses to get away & be alone. haiz...stupid. =.=" Really stupid...

I wish someone advices...ehem preferable girls lar. Damn it...of course I must get advices from girls ma because they are girls. They know something...I LACK OF FEMALE FRIENDS OOOHH~~~ So really to understand girls before I started to flirt again. If not...will always end up rejected or break up at the end...Haiz...who wan that happen anyway. Wound on outside are more faster to heal than wound inside. Aaahhh~~ SO SO SO PAIN~~~

p/s : My Heart now is...really really really PAINFUL & SUFFERING!!! God...Help...Me....

My Feelings

Finally...

Finally reach the very end week which I will resign. Damn...Im totally no life. Work and go home sleep. No time to have fun with all my friends. Masa terbalik...sigh~ selagi masih muda better enjoy my youth...I had wasted it last time. >.< so stupid am I...now i work as assistant chef with RM800++ salary. Well...OOooookay lar...but Im totally tired. I want off day also hard. Want have some fun also hard. I really feel like Im being used but that's ok. I RESIGN THIS END OF MONTH!!! Muhuhuhuhahahaha then I must rest at least 1 or 2 weeks to regain my health and make my body biasa bangun pagi. If not...ROSAK LOH MY BODY. Work as night shift suddenly work as morning shift without rest. Daripada sengsara...Better I take bit risk to rest and enjoy dulu.

Haiz...totally sad. This week suppose I resign but can't...what the fuck is "responsibility" if you don't care about my problems. Damn it...of course I must responsible but if people cannot tahan oledi. HOW TO RESPONSIBLE??? IM TIRED!!! I WORK SO HARD BUT I STILL GET NOTHING!!! I TRAIN NEW PEOPLE...kalo dia salah pukul dia lar...BUAT APA PUKUL SAYA??? WANT MAKE WAR KA??? This is FINAL!!! NO MORE HELP...NO MORE RESPECT. DONT CARE YOU NEED HELP OR NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE COZ OF BUSY. YOU ARE THE PRO...SETTLE IT YOURSELF!!! IM TIRED!!! IM SICK OF BEING USED!!! I WORK SO HARD & DINT DO WRONG. JUST BECOZ THE OTHERS MAKE MISTAKES DOESNT MEAN MUST HIT ME!!! YOU PERFECT KA!!! If you say you can do it...THATS MEAN ONLY YOU!!! DOESNT MEAN WE ALL CAN DO IT!!! YOU ARE THE SO CALL PROFESSIONAL!!! WE STILL NOOB!!! DONT TREAT US LIKE WE CAN BECOME PROFESSIONAL ANYTIME. WE NEED MORE TIME!!! ESPECIALLY ME!!! I NEED MORE TIME!!! I NO NEED REST KA??? BUSY PUN MUST ME ADA...EMERGENCY PUN WANT ME CHANGE TIME!!! YOU IDIOT OR WAT!!! PEOPLE "EMERGENCY" THEN LET ME GO LAR!!! BODOH!!! NAMA SAJA PROFESSIONAL AND A LOT EXPERIENCES TAPI PERASAAN & RESPECT LAAAAAAAAAAAAANGSUNG TIADA!!! Like that you better DIE lar!!!

Okay...thats it. You all know lar who I was talking about. I want to rest 2 weeks actually then ngam ngam 2nd week of december I work. Now my chance ony left 1 week rest. Haiz dunno my body can tahan or not. So hard to go jogging...so hard to train. Now many bad people out there again. I WANT TO LEARN COMBAT!!! I MUST LEARN HOW TO DEFENSE MYSELF!!! WHO!!! WHO CAN HELP ME!!! T.T haiz~~~ Sometimes I feel sad to be kadazanese coz so hard to join WUSHU. Must be chinese...haiz...HOW ARE LIKE THAT!!! Come on lar...Let me JOIN!!! I WANT TO LEARN!!! I WANT TO HAVE MY SUPER FLEXIBLE BODY & LIGHT BODY which can jump high. =p hehehehehe...

Okay lar...Thx for reading my feeling again.

By the way...Anyone know any place that I can learn japanese language? XD hehehe

Princess Wen Tagged Me

I Got Tagged From Princess Wen...I think I suppose to say Aunty...eh eh...nono i mean Cute Aunty Wen...WAKAKAKAKAKA

1) Do You Think Im Hot?
- =.=" sweat...so perasan meh~~ later people throw smelly eggs more cham loh...

2) Upload your favourite picture of you.
- Hiya...I wish to have my favorite picture but...nvm lar...I update it as soon as possible...Of coz must nice nice de pic ma...XD hehehe

3) Why Do You Like That Picture?
- How do i know...coz i never had one yet...XD hehehehehehe

4) When Was The Last Time You Ate Pizza?
- Wah...2 years ago...XD hehehe iskk people taking care healthy bah~~ dun make me sick lehh~~ XD

5) The Last Song You Listen To?
- Bi-Rain NEW SONGS!!!!!!!!!!

6) What Are You Doing Right Now Besides This?
- Watching Dances & Breakdances in YouTube...and searching ehem ehem girlfriend in friendster, tagged, and facebook...XD hehehe if got lar...dun like dat bah...people oso pandai feel lonely ma...not easy find better den last time one...If girl sure easy lar...for man not easy de lohh~~ T.T hehehe..

7) What Name Would You Prefer Besides Yours?
- I like Rickz...XD hehehehe no lar...I love my name and I dun wan to change it...just put Alias...put "Rickz" i love this nick...XD sooner call me BBoyRickz...=p

People to tagged... ... ...erm...none ooo~~~

How leh~~ T.T

Anyway...ok lar...I admit I know play guitar but not geng loh...Know chords ony ma...hehehe my ears not like last time edi loh...listen 1 time can find the notes oledi...

Sacrifice For Better Life

Recently...

Im totally feel I have no life at all...Wake up from bed then go work...After work just go straight to bed...Totally no life no exercise no fun. What kind of life is that? NOTHING!!! NONE!!! I need BETTER life!!! I have to sacrifice my current job salary for better life. Its better to have fun and able to release stress with friends rather then just working like hell. Im still young and strong. I should look for fun and brighten my life right now. Work sleep work sleep that can be use after have own family. Now still young and ehem ehem available...so better to go out have fun and exercise more. I been breathing oil and bad smokes everyday. And my health getting bad to worst. No way im wanted to die at young age with my loan that havent finish paid. Most suprising is that I suddenly have migrant. This is the 1st time I had it.

The meaning of this title is that Im going to resign my current job that have high salary for the sake of better healthy life. I have found morning shift job and work as bakery. Well...its the job that most suits me anyway because I always like to make dessert but too bad I learn a little bit only when I was practical in promenade hotel. Working in hotel...of cause when you become permanent worker there you have much much more salary but...no time, no life and no fun. Just before becoming one of the permanent staff...You have to suffer more than 2 years and the works all troublesome and tiresome. I learn a lot in my current job now. I learn how to handle and control quality of the foods. Most important of all I learn how to control budget. ^^ this is the most important part in any business. But I HAVE to resign this night shift job. I have to get morning shift job and do exercise at night time. I been in my current job and im totally exhausted and tired. I cant even have fun with my friends even 1 day. =.=" what kind of life is that anyway...I been taught by my chef but his style totally not suits me. Im not the person who would waste money on pub, clubbing or drink alcoholic. Im a person who would waste money on DANCE MACHINE for HEALTH...for FUN!!! But actually I most waste my money on expensive clothes...hahaha like must buy the clothes i like. XD I cant control this one yet...=p

Now to the main point...WHY? WHAT? HOW? WHEN? WHERE? XD well Sacrifice For Better Life...means I soon sacrifice my current job that have high salary and change to low bit bit salary for better life. For real Im not looking for money right now after I realize I still not enough experiences for high salary. So its better to learn and learn various type of skills so next time I able to do anything I want. I lack a lot of skills and wasted 2 years. Menganggur lar...stupid kan? haiz memang stupid lar...want tebus oso sakit kepala...>.< really kit si me. Better life means that I wanted to go out at night and enjoy my life...well actually I wanted to go dance at night time. hahaha...my team been waiting for me to teach them and train together. I also need to retrain and gain back everything I lost. I need another 2 years to be professional like last time. XD its a must...hahaha now I have my body and bit flexiblity...I need to learn balance. XD hahaha

When I resign? Well...this thing I have to discuss with my boss...I need to ask him to find new people for the kitchen. Just hoping that person able to catch up faster like me. hahaha...I can catch up faster anytime I wanted but due to my health...=.=" how to catch up??? sakit sakit dapat kerja bagus bagus meh~~~ lolz...Im so sad when my chef dont believe that im actually have weak heart and very very fast tired. That is why...only the person who sick know and understand their sickness. No one would...I realize about this when I keep on training for 2 months. I can no longer run like last time. But nothing to worry...I know my limit. hahaha...in my current job I keep push myself over my limit to finish all works. I have to...not because Im hardworking or wat...Its because I dont want to be tired by tomorrow.

Where would I work on morning shift? Well its at damai bakery...the shift starts from 8am till 6pm...sometimes early but I dont mind that. Most important I learn how to make cakes and breads. muhuhuhuhahahahahahahahahah...Then I try to make those cakes and breads with lowest budget then SELL IT!!! Must try this kind of experiences if not...when will I able to do it. Sometimes have to force yourself to danger zone to feel the pain of falling down then when you get up...thats how you will think how to solve it. When you can solve it...thats how you make a better living. XD hehehehe...

Aahh...I think until here lar...I write so much oledi. This is what I feel now. But I need to be patient and help my boss...even though sometimes I hate my boss for not taking new staff for kitchen but have to understand whole situation 1st. My chef havent realize about it yet because his mind he just wanted to have new staff and work easy easy. Well...its work...No work place that work with high salary and low responsibility. What about me? I work so much and I dont even take off day when got emergency...? I wanted to go back kampung to show my respect to them...I wanted to go wedding to show respect...But I sacrifice everything just for work and my salary not as high as it suit. I never ask more...I just follow orders and do as it should. But what I get in return is totally different. So i have to sacrifice my high salary for better living. Im not going to destroy my respect from my families again. If not someday I marry no one come. Thats more sad...Later apa mo pun ndak dpt. Lagi susah...Better susah now than susah in the future. =.=" hahaha ok lar enough lar. You see I cant stop writing about my experiences in my current job.

Cancelation on Joining RedBull Event

Aaahh~~

Im so so so sad ar~~~

Cant join the Redbull Event not only because of work...it is also because the competition need 3man battle...no solo~~ hiyakk...haiz nvm lar...now keep on practicing. Dont wan to lose another chance again. Soooo many chances but all oso misss~~~

So to all my friends who really wan to see me dance...sorry loh~~~ I cant do it...but wait my REAL team geng...then we give a show that all sabahan never forget and bored...muhuhuhahahahahahahhaha SABAH BOLEH BAH!!! XD...

Dancing World

Stepping Into Dancing World Once More...^^

Aaaahh~~ This feeling that long lost has finally return. My...ehem ehem...fit fit body...XD no lar...not so fit oso just light...wakakakkaa but its so nice to be back again. Dancing for inspiration...for fun...for health...for future. I heard some people or maybe most people says that dancing wont be able to make money at all. Well...my comment is everything is just the same. Making business you need modal or something. Working you need to be more hardworking to gain more money. So why not dancing? Dancing is fun and healthy...its doesnt mean it is impossible to do it. So...TIME is just answer. Nothing is impossible in this world anymore. There's always an idea can fulfill it. ^^ No Pain No Gain right? hehehe...

Today I got sore throat...one of the most hated sickness...whenever I sore throat my whole body sure weak especially when I keep coughing. It will make my heart pain so much. >.< but anyway...thanks to all my training and dancing. My body can handle it. ^^ If im the FAT guy last time sure...sick terus K.O. Now sick also can dance well...^^ Im glad im doing it. I wont listen anyone bad comments anymore. It just makes things worst. Better healthy then doing something stupid. muhuhuhahahahahha want challenge? lai lar...Run 100m with me. See who more faster and energetic. XD hehehehe just kidding...I sure lose if you an athlete. XD..

Anyway...Thanks to God that giving me strength for everything. ^^

Let's Dance!!!

Dance For Inspire!!!

Battle!!!




...erm...support me on 22nd November, Saturday. XD cheer for me lar...Im SOLO battle breakdance ar~~~ T.T no support sure will lost eh~~